My Boyfriend Hasn’t Called Me In 3 Days – 14 Honest Reasons Why

My boyfriend hasn’t called me in 3 days!

Whoa – that’s long and I bet you are worried sick about him.

Is he okay? Does he need help? Is he seeing another girl? Is he ending things with you?

All sorts of thoughts must be racing through your mind.

I get it. I have been there, just like you when my then-boyfriend did a disappearing act on me.

So, you came to the most comprehensive resource out there on this topic.

I will share you why this might have happened as well as tips to handle this unexpected situation in your relationship.

Let’s get straight to it!

Disclaimer:

Some of the links on here are affiliate links and I may earn if you click on them, AT NO EXTRA cost to you. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks.

My Boyfriend Hasn’t Called Me In 3 Days – But Why (14 Reasons)

1. He Is Sick

He might be extremely sick like being hospitalized and is unable to be with his phone. The easiest way to figure if this is the case is to call up his family and friends to ask about his whereabouts.

I know it is frustrating not to hear from him and if he is sick, well, there is nothing you can do except care for him. But I would also encourage you to focus on yourself.

Don’t lose yourself by obsessing over him. Been there, done that, girlfriend and it doesn’t look pretty.

Let me ask you this.

When is the last time you did something for yourself?

2. He Wants You To Call Him First

How to message a guy first?

Well, just DO IT.

We all play all sorts of games when we first start dating – so maybe he is tired of calling you and is waiting for you to take the lead on this one.

3. He Is Upset

You guys had a fight or maybe you said something that truly hurt him. So, he is waiting on you to call him first.

Why does it always have to be the guy that does it?

4. He Is Just Busy

This is a real possibility, eh? But it isn’t very nice when you are on the other side, waiting to hear from him.

Look, we are all adults here and everyone is well oh, so busy so using this as an excuse is purely rude and disrespectful in my opinion.

But anyway, here are some practical and easy ways to keep your mind occupied:

• – Read a novel
• – Help a colleague with their work
• – Take some deep breaths
• – Recite some calming affirmations
• – Grab a vacuum and start cleaning the kitchen
• – Call a friend to rant about him (my favorite)
• – Go for a solo brunch date

5. He Is Not That Into You

“Boyfriend hasn’t called me in 3 days!”

Ouch. That must have hurt to hear that.

If a guy truly adores you, he will spend hours on the phone with you and if he can’t, he will find other ways to let you know he is thinking of you throughout the day.

How do I know this? Well, this is something my partner of 16 years still does to this day.

You might want to keep an eye out for the following signs that his interest in you is waning:

• – Vague about his whereabouts
• – Distant during conversations
• – Avoids physical intimacy like the plague
• – Cancel plans regularly
• – Prioritizes his family and friends over you
• – He hasn’t called in a week

6. He Is Away For A Few Days

Okay, confession time. I had a huge fight with my partner once right before he left for Hong Kong.

Didn’t hear from him at all for easily 4 days and I was worried sick.

I had no choice but to reach out to his sister to ask about his whereabouts.

He didn’t have cell service over there.

I am sure his sister thought it was weird to message her and probably suspected that something was off with our relationship but heck, a girl is desperate here!

7. He Is Seeing Someone Else

Ergh, another painful possible reason but there is a chance that he is cheating on you.

Men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner.

Some signs you might want to look out for:

• – Sudden interest in his physical appearance
• – Lies about his whereabouts
• – Distant during his communication
• – Avoids planning dates
• – Constantly on the phone
• – Cancels on you often
• – Accuses you of cheating
• – No longer physically intimate

8. He Needs Time Alone

Boyfriend hasn’t called me in 3 days!

I know how much you want to hear from him all day, every day but perhaps he needs some space.

Men need time to decompress because relationships take a lot of energy from them.

Men don’t sit around in a circle and air their frustrations and stress as women do. Instead, they like to do things like go on a hike or tinker on the computer for a bit.

They want to be left alone and it’s nothing personal.

Reasons Why Time Alone Is So Important:

• – Helps to build a life outside the relationship
• – Allows for greater self-reflection
• – Get used to the solitude and peace
• – Absence makes the heart grow fonder for their partner

9. This Is Who He Is

He doesn’t think much of not being in touch for 3 days. This is how he has always been in relationships.

Now it’s on you to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want in your life in the long run.

10. He Is Complacent

He might need a nudge or two to be in touch. It might not be malicious but men tend to get complacent once they get the woman of their dreams.

He thinks it’s the same with his guy friends – they can go for weeks/ months with unanswered texts and no one is offended.

Of course, it has to be different with you but maybe you need to remind him of the good old days when he used to be in touch more regularly.

11. He Finds You Overwhelming

He might want you to learn to be independent outside the relationship and not expect him to respond to every single text or call.

It could be a growing resentment he has for you. Ideally, he should tell you this in person rather than try to ‘teach you a lesson’ by going MIA for 3 days.

12. He Doesn’t Know How To Deal With Conflict

I used to get so frustrated with my boyfriend whenever we fought. He would go silent on me.

He told me it’s his way of letting me calm down first before we talk again. I on the other hand wanted him to pacify me IMMEDIATELY.

As a result, there was more conflict. It took many years and lots of research to understand that he was conflict-avoidant.

So this might just be the reason why you haven’t heard from him.

13. Unaligned Expectations

You expect him to call you daily. He thinks it’s okay to just call every 4 – 5 days.

Who is in the wrong here? No one.

It’s just a difference in expectations.

So if you do not tell him what you need, you cannot expect him to give in to your desires.

14. Technical Glitches

This is a long shot, especially in this day and age but it’s still a possibility worth examining.

He might have problems with his phone and is unable to reach you. This might be upsetting to him just as much as it is for you. So hang on there, girl!

My Boyfriend Hasn’t Called In 3 Days – 12 Helpful Tips

1. Take A Step Back And Do Nothing

Do nothing, you say?

Well, hear me out!

It has been only 3 days so give it some time. If it was truly an emergency, his family and friends would have reached out to him already.

So why don’t you lay off the relationship for a bit and focus on things that make you happy? Remember, you are your person outside this man you love.

2. Align Expectations

Be honest here. Have you ever told him how often you want to text/ call each other? We often assume that both people want the same thing so we just avoid bringing it up.

That strategy hasn’t worked out well for you because you now find yourself frustrated that he hasn’t called.

3. Engage With Him In A Calm Manner

If you want him to possibly change his ways, you need to speak to him calmly. Accusing him and raising your voice WILL NOT get you what you need in the relationship.

What Not To Do:

What To Do Instead:

Notice how the tone is so different when you engage vs communicate to tell them what you want?

4. Receive Feedback Well

You might not like what he has to say when you ask him about the frequency of his calls. He might think talking once a week is good enough.

The key is to provide a safe space for him to tell you why.

The next step is for you to then decide if this is what you want. If he says I want to only call you once in 5 days, is that okay with you? If not, you know what to do.

5. Build A Life Outside Your Relationship

I was just like you once. I used to wait for my boyfriend to call or text because I was quite literally addicted to him. It wasn’t healthy.

The sooner I realized that the faster I got to work on myself. For example, I engaged in the following activities which you can too:

• – Went on a solo trip to the Philippines
• – Signed for Muay Thai classes
• – Volunteer at a dog shelter (picture below of me doing just that!)

It didn’t just boost my self-worth but it also made for great conversations when we did talk. He was always so enamored by me.

So consider practising some self care hacks to love yourself first!

Win-win for both, eh?

6. Reach Out First

Why are you waiting for him to text or call first? I know, I would swallow my pride and just reach out to him.

7. Understand The Seasons In Your Relationship

There will be a time in every relationship when both of you will become complacent and take each other for granted.

So try to shift your perspective that your partner may want to pursue things outside the relationship and this could mean him not always being so available for your beck and call.

8. Focus On Yourself

Do you truly know yourself? What makes you tick? What childhood trauma is affecting your romantic relationship?

Not sure?

I would start by taking this attachment style to find out.

My tip is to get him to also do this free 5-minute quiz so that he can understand better why you feel the need to constantly be in touch.

If not, you run the risk of driving him away by appearing clingy for no reason.

9. Accept Who He Is

If this is who he is and he doesn’t want to change, are you willing to stick with him?

There is no wrong or right answer here. Only you have the answer to that burning question.

10. Learn To Manage Your Own Emotions

You need to learn to manage your emotions and not be overly dependent on him by building up your self-worth.

11. Apologize (If You Are In The Wrong)

If he hasn’t called in 3 days because of a fight, then reach out first and be sincere with your apology.

Holding on to anger and resentment only builds a stronger wedge in your relationship which may lead you to its demise.

12. Draw Boundaries

“He hasn’t contacted me in a week”

Well, once you have shared why you need to call/ text daily etc., it is okay to draw boundaries if it happens again.

For some boundaries could mean taking time off the relationship to reassess what you both want or a full-on break-up.

Either way, you will learn that you are completely fine regardless of the outcome you choose.

Conclusion

So, there you have it, ladies.

A comprehensive article dedicated to the topic of my boyfriend hasn’t called me in 3 days.

I hope you explore the reasons why he might be doing it well and use some of the helpful strategies I mentioned to get you the best relationship of your dreams.

Love isn’t always so easy but it has always been worth it with the right person.

Let me know if anything I have said resonates with you and your partner or if you want to add on to some of the suggestions I have stated above.

Sending you love and light as always.

Frequently Asked Questions On My Boyfriend Hasn’t Called Me In 3 Days

Is It Normal In A Relationship To Not Talk For 3 Days?

Yes, periodically having a few days to yourself is pretty healthy and is a sign that you are self-reliant and independent.

You should talk to each other because you want to, not because you have to.

And everyone has a different frequency of communication so you shouldn’t compare to another relationship.

What Does It Mean When Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Call You For Days?

He might be preoccupied with other commitments or work. It might not be anything personal as he just simply hasn’t had the headspace to give you a call.

If you are not sure, you can always be the first to reach out and ask him how is he doing and if he needs any help.

What To Do When Your Boyfriend Ignores You For Days?

Speaking to your partner about how it’s making you feel and their behavior can be a great first step.

Consider leaving the relationship if they still choose to be unresponsive and disinterested in making changes to their behavior.

This is a telltale sign that the person is not invested anymore.

Should I Leave Him Alone If He Ignores Me?

Yes, give him some much-needed space as maybe he needs to process his thoughts and feelings.

It is important to be honest with how you are feeling and talk to him when it is suitable.

Be receptive to what he might say even if it’s not pleasant. At least he is being honest.

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