My Boyfriend Is Acting Weird – But Why & What To Do (17 Reasons)

My boyfriend is acting weird!

I bet you must be feeling so confused by his bizarre character lately.

Perhaps he is going missing, he answers rudely, or might even be behaving extra nice to you.

All these behaviors are out of the ordinary and you feel like your intuition is telling you something you can’t even comprehend.

Well, you have come to the right place to get all your burning questions answered.

I am going to go through with you some potential reasons why he is acting weird as well as some strategies to manage the situation.

Let’s get down to it!

Disclaimer:

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 My Boyfriend Is Acting Weird – But Why?

1. He Cheated

I know, I bet you are surprised that I am going in straight in for this one. But let’s talk about this for a minute.

His sudden behavior change arouses your suspicion and we all think of cheating first. It is human nature!

We won’t know for sure until he comes clean with it or you catch him in the act. It’s always easier to connect the dots looking back.

Here are other signs he may be cheating:

• Doesn’t answer your calls frequently
• Goes missing for hours/ days at a time
• Doesn’t allow you access to his phone

2. You Are Overthinking Things

“Boyfriend acting distant but says he loves me.”

Let’s address the elephant in the room.

We women are wired with all sorts of intuitive feelings but sometimes, just sometimes…it might make us overthink things especially when things get a little stable in the relationship.

You start to create problems out of thin air – just so you can create ‘excitement’ in the relationship.

I will be the first to admit that I have done this before in my past relationship. Why? Well, I thought that we needed constant drama to keep the relationship interesting.

3. He Is About To Surprise You

“My boyfriend is acting very distant.”

My boyfriend was acting so aloof many moons ago. All sorts of reasons were racing through my head.

Did I do something? Is he finding someone else more attractive? Are we headed to doomsville?

Little did I know, he was going to propose to me!

So yes, the brain senses your inner fears and can go 180 with it if you let it. You have to be careful here and don’t be like me! Haha.

For all you know, he has a perfectly good reason as to why he is acting weird.

 4. He Needs Some Solitude

My boyfriend is acting weird! Help!!!

Men need to decompress. They aren’t as social as women are. Why?

Because fundamentally, they both react differently to stress.

In an influential study by the Psychological Review, it was reported that women tend to deal with stress by tending and befriending others.

So, don’t take it personally if he needs to step away from you to recharge.

5. He Is Scared To Talk To You

I know you are wondering. Why on earth would he be scared to talk to his girlfriend?

Well, the truth is, men are more pragmatic and are more of a straight shooter when it comes to life. Women don’t always like hearing that.

We want to live in our little la la land. We don’t like confronting issues head-on because it forces us to change our behaviors.

Don’t worry – I am just like you too! Here is how I changed my ways with my partner.

I had a complete shift in my perspective when I realized that I was my partner’s safe space and he could say anything to me. Even the parts where I might not like to hear.

For example, he tells me not to nag at my kids repeatedly because kids do not respond well to nagging (he came from a mother who used to nag repeatedly).

Let me be honest here, I hated that he “corrected” me.

But was he right?

Absolutely. And it was for the betterment of our family that I changed my ways.

So maybe if you listen to him instead of talking over him, you might learn a thing or two!

6. He Is Socially Awkward

This might be his first relationship or maybe he is just a socially awkward but downright nice guy.

He might not know all the social cues to behave in a relationship. So help him out a little, eh?

7. He Has Changed His Feelings For You

He might not be having feelings for you anymore and this is his way of building a wall between the both of you before he calls it quits.

Painful thought, eh? But it’s a real possibility.

8. He Has Family/ Work Troubles

Some men don’t like to share their thoughts because they don’t want to burden their partners. How do I know this?

Well, my husband is one of them.

I have to keep on egging him to talk by creating a comfortable space for him to share his thoughts.

The other alternative is to allow him to have his own time and space to deal with.

9. He Is Hurt

You might have said something to hurt you and he is not able to verbalize that to you for fear of retaliation.

So, he acts weird hoping you either get a hint or ask him directly.

10. He Is Not Feeling Well

Now, this could be two things. Physical or mental health. Either way, he is not ready to share yet.

So you might need to exercise some patience especially if this is out of the ordinary for him.

11. He Has New Priorities

Maybe he has something new in his life. A dog, the gym, a new job? So it is natural for someone to gravitate towards the new thing in their lives.

12. He Is Feeling Overwhelmed

Look, if you are expecting him to be at your beck and call like how he was at the start of the relationship, I have news for you.

It is too much for anyone!

He might be feeling so smothered by this relationship and his way of telling you that is by acting weird.

13. He Worries He Will Lose You

Now let’s flip the previous narrative around. What if he is acting weird because he fears losing you?

Perhaps he has an anxious attachment style and is worried you may leave him one day.

Did you know that up to 20% of people struggle with anxious attachment?

14. He Senses Your Expectations

Are you expecting him to be a certain way as a boyfriend?

Confession time!

I used to do that with my boyfriend. I expected him to come to all of my family events, attend church with me, and go out with my friends.

It was getting too much for him and he resented it and in return that cost us a lot of fights.

I realized I was expecting him to be something he is not. He is my partner. Which means he has his own life to live – not just to be there for me all the time.

This realization was a huge game changer in our relationship and I am grateful to report that things went uphill from that day!

15. He Is Non-Committal

This might not be about you per se but it says more about him. He doesn’t value a relationship the way you do.

For example, you envision walking down the aisle with this guy. He on the other hand is more of a ‘I’ll see where things go kind of person”.

16. He Simply Has Changed

My boyfriend and I dated for 10 years before we tied the knot and throughout the relationship, we both changed.

I mean you have to. No one can stay the same for 10 years.

So perhaps he has changed his demeanor and personality to suit his current life. It might not be about you even though it is normal to take it personally.

17. He Wants Out

I am afraid to say that his acting weird might be a sign he is on his way out. Brace yourself for the inevitable.

My Boyfriend Is Acting Weird – Helpful Solutions

 1.  Sit With Yourself

I bet you were expecting me to say confront him right away but hear me out. 

Remember how I mentioned women have a habit of overanalyzing and making an issue of out a molehill?

Well, I want you to reflect a little on the following:

• – How long has my boyfriend been acting distant?
• – Are there things that I might be doing to push him away?
• – Were there any new changes in his life?
• – Are other areas of our relationship good?

Now that you have spent 10 minutes asking yourself this question, it’s time to move on to the next few steps.

2. Engage With Him

Notice how I didn’t use the word confront or even talk to him? I asked you to engage with him.

What does this mean? Well, communicate with him when you know he is at his best self.

For example, if he just came home from work, the last thing he would want to do is to talk about the relationship.

But perhaps if you cooked him his favorite meal with a glass of wine, he would feel more relaxed to open up.

Pro tip: Be mentally prepared. You might not like what he has to say.

Simple tips to help frame the conversation:

• – Ask him how his day went
• – Share with him how you love listening to his stories
• – Tell him how you have noticed the relationship has been distant (avoid accusatory language but instead talk about the relationship as a whole. E.g. I noticed our relationship feels distant. I miss being closer to you.
• – Ask him what his thoughts are on what you just shared
• – Work out a detailed plan on how you are going to solve this challenge (e.g. no phone date nights/ weekly lunch dates etc.) Being as detailed as possible helps the both of you clarify expectations of what needs to be done moving forward.

Now for you to do any of these actions, you need to be honest and genuine. You cannot fake asking someone how their day was just to fulfill the checklist I stated above.

It is not going to WORK.

3. Recreate Memories

Perhaps the both of you are in a rut in this relationship. You will need to either recreate memories or start new ones.

There are plenty of date ideas to spark the romance again.

4. Give Him Space

I know this is hard to do but put yourself in his shoes.

If you were going through a new life change/ personal problem, you would appreciate it if your partner was able to support you by giving you space to figure things out.

By space – I do not mean breaking up/ taking time off but instead, you stop asking him 1001 times about what is on his mind. It is honestly outright annoying.

I assure he will come back to you once he is ready to share his inner thoughts.

5. Accepting Him For Who He Is

Ask yourself if you are willing to put up with his new behavior. You can never change a person.

If he does take your concerns and change, then great but if he doesn’t, then what?

6. Communicate Your Expectations

He might not even think he is doing anything wrong because you have not told him how you feel.

So to him, he is not acting weird at all. This is his norm.

7. Focus On Yourself

It’s easy to get caught up in love. After all, it’s a drug but maybe it’s time for you to take a step back and focus on yourself.

Ways to have a life outside your romance:

• – Go back to how it was before you started dating (swimming class every Sunday, brunch with your parents every Saturday, etc)
• – Invest in your development (pray more, learn a new language, etc)
• – Spend time with your loved ones (ask a friend out, call a colleague)
• – Stay away from social media (the dopamine hits on your brain can make you feel more anxious)

I recently signed up for Muay Thai so that I can have my own time. Check out the picture below!

8. Find A Common Interest

Did you know you are more likely to spend time with each other if you have a common interest with your spouse?

How to discover that? Well, take a leap outside your comfort zone and try new activities together. My husband and I did salsa the other day for the first time and it was so fun!

9. Surprise Him

Maybe he feels bored by the relationship. So instead of letting him plan all your dates. You can take over and inject some spice into the relationship. It doesn’t have to cost much.

Ideas to surprise him:

• – Plan a picnic near a waterfall
• – Pack a lunch for him
• – Send him a voice note in the middle of his workday
• – Cook him his favorite comforting meal
• – Plan a boys’ night out with his friends (this is an absolute winner with my husband)

10. Pack Your Bags

Oh boy – this is a tough one but if your boyfriend is acting weird and not changing then time to pull the plug.

Especially if you have been trying your best to engage with him and he continues to keep away, then I suggest you call it quits. No relationship is worth this much pain and isolation.

This isn’t what intimacy is especially if you find out that he is harboring feelings for someone else/ already cheating on you.

Conclusion

So, how do you feel about the potential reasons I listed why my boyfriend is acting weird?

Does anything sound familiar to you? If yes, let me know in the comments which one struck a chord.

Regardless, I hope the strategies I wrote come in handy in your situation.

Despite it looking bleak, it doesn’t mean there is no end in sight. Sometimes it could be harmless or sometimes it could be a sign of things coming to an end.

Nevertheless, it is important to recognize that these are part and parcel of the human experience in romantic relationships.

Do take good care of yourself and I hope to see you again soon!

Frequently Asked Questions For Boyfriend Is Acting Weird

Why Is My Boyfriend Acting So Weird All Of The Sudden?

Sometimes guys get weird and distant because they’ve cheated or are considering it. It is best to be straightforward and ask him directly.

You want to do it calmly and confidently so he feels safe to be honest with you that the relationship is no longer working.

How Do You Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Uninterested In You?

Some telltale signs that he is losing interest:

• Doesn’t spend much time together anymore
• Loss of enthusiasm in conversations
• Lack of physical intimacy
• Prioritises his other activities over you
• Decreased communication
• Wanders off for hours without telling you
• Avoids public events with you

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