husband is always yelling at our daughter

My Husband Is Always Yelling At Our Daughter (How To Deal)

Do you feel like my husband is always yelling at our daughter! I bet it is distressing to you and your loved ones every time.

You need clarification, trying to figure out what to do and how to prevent it from happening next time.

As this doesn’t just affect your well-being but also your daughter, you must take immediate action to prevent this from being a common occurrence.

I am here to provide comprehensive information on this topic to ensure you will be on the right track for your relationship.

So let me hold your hand as we journey together in this uncomfortable situation.

Let’s get into it!

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My Husband Is Always Yelling At Our Daughter (19 Strategies)

 1. Understand Why He Does It

I get it; it’s hard to even think of putting yourself in his shoes when he has bonkers on your daughter. But you will need to try empathizing with him to understand where he is coming from.

Some prompting questions that can help are as follows:

  • – What can I do to make you feel better when you are upset
  • – What do you think your trigger was?
  • – How would you propose addressing our issues with our daughter moving forward?

2. Past Trauma

Did he come from a family of yellers? Some family dynamics work that way.

They lack the understanding that this can gravely impact a child’s self-esteem. He now reciprocates that behavior as he thinks it is the best way to get your daughter’s attention.

You might even say that my husband always yells at me because he cannot differentiate between yelling at your daughter or you.

My husband is always yelling at our daughter

3. Consider Parenting Classes

I would like you to view this as a shared problem you both are struggling with rather than putting it all on him.

Attend a parenting class with him not just to show him your support but also so that you can learn to be a better parent to your children. You will be surprised at also how it can strengthen your marital bond.

It will be a win–win for both, eh?

My husband is always yelling at our daughter

4. Encourage Positive Reinforcement

How do you treat your husband when he doesn’t yell at your child? Do you often compliment him on how he can take care of the kids, teach the kids, etc?

Come on, we all know that a compliment or two now and then would only make us feel more confident about ourselves (especially if it is from our closest partner)

Offer him praise for what he does well with the kids and admit to wanting and needing some help yourself.

5. Offer Space

Husband yells?

Maybe he is tired and overwhelmed with daily life and hasn’t had a break. Men need to decompress as much as we do. Perhaps his anger at his daughter is resentment building in.

Tip: Encourage him to go out for a few hours every weekend to do his hobby.

I promise you; he will come back recharged and refreshed, as well as excited to see you and the kids.

My husband is always yelling at our daughter

6. Never Assume

I understand your overprotectiveness nature comes in the soonest you hear him yelling at your daughter but don’t assume you know what happens.

There is a chance your daughter has overstepped her boundaries, which might require (sometimes, not always) a bit of yelling to get the message across. You should talk to him right to understand his side of the story.

Correcting him amid an angry situation can backfire. For example, he may feel his father’s authority is undermined, which can escalate into something far worse.

7. Understand Your Husband

Wives, I know you would like to think that you know your husband through and through, considering you have been with him for X number of years. The truth is that people change, especially after facing different circumstances.

I encourage you to take this personality test my husband, and I took to help you understand your spouse better.

I used to be so frustrated at my husband for lacking empathy – after doing the test.

I realized he has zero compassion for people. This made me empathize with him a lot more, and I realized I needed to be more direct in my conversations to get him to understand.

Just as life is ever-changing, so is your spouse. Make a concerted effort to get to know them always.

8. Don’t Minimize Their Feelings

Your daughter is more vulnerable than your husband, especially at her tender and precious age.

Avoid minimising your husband’s thoughts and feelings, as he has every right just as much as you do to a parent. You need to redirect his actions towards a more positive parenting approach.

9. Encourage Daddy-Daughter Dates

You are getting your husband to spend more intentional time with your daughter by spending a whole day with her. This will help them bond better as he can understand her and know what makes her smile and what makes her tick.

There are over 20 daddy-daughter dates for you to check out.

My husband is always yelling at our daughter

10. Pray

You don’t have to be a Christian to pray. Try praying together as well as praying for your spouse regularly. You never know how hearts can be changed over something so simple.

11. Maintain Day-To-Day Talks

If you want your spouse to heed your advice and avoid yelling, he needs to feel loved and trusted by you.

How do you do that?

Well, spend at least 10 minutes a day asking how his day went, what he was most excited about how you can help him today etc.

We often take the simplest things for granted, but these daily moments add to the intimacy.

12. Try Calming Him Down

Truth is, he might be thinking to himself can anyone help me stop yelling at my child?

Well, you may just be the perfect person for it.

You know your husband better than anyone.

Try to de-escalate the situation to the best of your ability. There are 6 ways to de-escalate a conflict. Try it, and let me know if it helps!

13. Forgive Him

We are only human. Try to forgive him for his outburst. I know you may think forgiving him means encouraging this behavior, but I assure you, it is not.

You are only making him less angry and vulnerable enough in this situation. When he feels safer with you, I assure you, he will come to you for advice on tackling his anger directed at your daughter.

My husband is always yelling at our daughter

14. Don’t Nag

Avoid nagging at him whenever he yells at your daughter. No one likes to be nagged, and he will completely shut down.

15. Acknowledge That Yelling Is Unhealthy

When he is in a better mood, you need to have a heart to 1heart conversation to tell him that yelling is unhealthy for the family and will have a long-term negative impact.

16. Don’t React At The Moment

It is painful to witness your daughter being yelled at by your husband, but you must remain calm and not react. Adding more fuel to the fire will only make things worse for everyone.

You do not want to have the experience of asking why does my husband yell at me if he turns on you.

17. Set Ground Rules On How To Handle Your Daughter

Look, there will be many times when you both disagree on parenting your daughter. But since we know that will happen, let’s work on setting up the parameters for those conversations.

Creating some structure will help both of you consistently frame your thoughts and actions.

18. Consider External Assistance

Do consider therapy an option to get a neutral party to help diffuse the situation. You might leave the conversations with some helpful tools and tips the next time this happens.

19. Leave The Situation With Your Daughter

If you feel my husband yells at me plus now your daughter, consider leaving the situation with your daughter. Your primary role is to care for your daughter, so work on ensuring she feels safe and secure in your home.

My husband is always yelling at our daughter

6 Causes Of My Husband Is Always Yelling At Our Daughter

1. Anger

Perhaps he is enraged and frustrated at the current situation, and he is not able to talk to your daughter rationally.

2. Stress

Is he undergoing work stress? It is easiest to let ourselves go with the youngest and defenseless. He may be unable to verbalize or manage his stress levels, so you might have to poke and prod to get to the bottom.

3. Something Bothering Him

We never truly know what triggers another. Could it be a midlife crisis? Maybe he needs to feel like he is where his peers are. Does he feel lost in his life? All these thoughts muddle his rationality, resulting in him yelling at your daughter.

4. He Is Upset At You

Men are not the most emotionally intelligent, so they may be angry at you but don’t know how to tell you. It is easier to lash out at others, especially the younger ones.

My husband is always yelling at our daughter

5. New Changes In Life

Did you welcome a newborn? Has anyone in the family passed? Did you make a big move across the country? These very stressful situations can cause him to lose his ability to manage his emotions.

6. It Doesn’t Feel Like Your Methods Work

Perhaps you have been disciplining your daughter, which hasn’t produced any results. He thinks this is a better, firmer approach to conveying that he means business.

Conclusion For My Husband Is Always Yelling At Our Daughter

We have finally reached the end of the article on my husband is always yelling at our daughter.

I sincerely hope you now understand why this happens, what to do about it, and strategies to move forward by yourself and as a united family in tackling this issue.

Even if things seem so hard right now, understand that you have given your absolute best in this relationship if you implement all the above strategies.

There are no bad lessons, only good ones to help you in future relationships with the people around you!

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