Why is my girlfriend so annoying? I hear you loud and clear!!!
I can only imagine this nagging unsettled feeling you must be having.
It might be hard and embarrassing to complain about your girlfriend to someone else. You might even contemplate breaking up with her for good.
But hold on to that thought!
Rest assured; you are not alone. This happens now and then to the best couples.
I will share with you why she is behaving this way and share with you some practical solutions to get your relationship back on track again.
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- Why Is My Girlfriend Is Annoying – 15 Reasons & Solutions
- 1. Craves Attention
- 2. Bored Of The Relationship
- 3. She Is Hormonal
- 4. She Feels Underappreciated
- 5. She Is Struggling With Mental Health Issues
- 6. She Feels Controlled
- 7. She Feels She Deserves Better
- 8. You Are Selfish
- 9. You Cheated
- 10. You Are Overthinking It
- 11. Deep Resentment
- 12. She Feels Her Needs Are Not Met
- 13. She Is Sick
- 14. Inequity With Chores
- 15. She Doesn’t See A Problem
- 15 Solutions To Why Is My Girlfriend So Annoying
- 1. Be Honest
- 2. Counselling
- 3. Demonstrate Appreciation
- 4. Apologize
- 5. Offer Space
- 6. Surprise Her
- 7. Practise Self-Care
- 8. Get Intimate
- 9. Sign Up For A Relationship Retreat
- 10. Focus On Yourself
- 11. Put Yourself In Her Shoes
- 12. Quality Vs Quantity Time
- 13. Understand Her
- 14. Be Kind
- 15. Separation
- Conclusion
- Frequently Asked Questions On Why Is My Girlfriend So Annoying
- How Do I Deal With An Annoying Girlfriend?
- Is It Normal To Be Annoyed By Your Girlfriend?
- How Do I Make It Up To My Girlfriend?
- Should I Apologize For Being Rude?
- How Can I Be A Better Boyfriend?
Why Is My Girlfriend Is Annoying – 15 Reasons & Solutions
1. Craves Attention
Anyone who seeks out annoying behaviour is trying to ask for attention. Have you been spending quality time with her?
Netflix and Chill is not a date. A date is when you engage with each other via an activity or conversation.
Taking her to watch her favorite movie isn’t one either. So she may be resorting to being annoying to get your attention.
Quick Win To Get Her Off Your Case
Surprise her with these thoughtful gifts that could serve as a distraction:
- – Care Package, perfect for her to practise self care
- – Lululemon Align Hi-Rise Pant for her gym workouts
- – Shiatsu Back Shoulder and Neck Massager, a great way to pamper herself when you aren’t always around
2. Bored Of The Relationship
Maybe she thinks this relationship has run its course. So her acting out is one way of making you break up with her instead of her hurting you.
That way, it’s easier for her to pin the of this relationship on you.
3. She Is Hormonal
Do you know enough about her monthly cycle? Yes, I know you might be thinking, how is that my problem? She should learn to manage it!
Well, her cycle which is beyond her control, by the way, has a huge impact on your relationship.
For example, when she is going to be most fertile, there is testosterone (something you are familiar with).
It might make her feel more social, more energetic and even more amorous in bed.
But a week before her period, she might be feeling low, moody and more irritable about everything.
THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU.
It is how her body is preparing herself for her period. So if she may be annoying this time, learn her cycle so that you can be more understanding and have a more fulfilling relationship.
4. She Feels Underappreciated
Why is my girlfriend so mean, you ask?
Well, women need to constantly be appraised for what they provide in the relationship. When was the last time you did that? Giving appreciation to her is a sign that she feels respected.
Here are some simple ways for you to demonstrate this
- Send her a text telling her how much you appreciate what she brings to the relationship
- Have a no-phone date so that your eyes are only on her
- Cook a warm meal for her when she least expects
- Give her time as well as space when she is going through something
5. She Is Struggling With Mental Health Issues
How to deal with an annoying girlfriend?
This is a tough one. She may not be aware that she is struggling with mental health issues herself or she may be hiding it.
You need to encourage her by providing a safe space for her to share any struggles she might be having.
It could range from her being bipolar to schizophrenia to massive anxiety which may require medication.
The good news is, you don’t have to go at this alone.
There are plenty of resources available for her as well as you as a partner to support her as she navigates this very complex chapter in her life.
6. She Feels Controlled
Why is my girlfriend so annoying all the time?
Maybe she is annoying you because she feels controlled in the relationship. So she wants you to end things with her.
Do you talk down to her?
I am going to be honest to say that when my partner used to talk down to me, I felt stifled in the relationship and started to act out. I would ignore his calls and stonewall him in conversations.
Needless to say, he never understood why I was behaving that way and just found me annoying.
Over time, of course, we worked through our relationship and am now in a better place together.
7. She Feels She Deserves Better
To you, she is annoying but to her, how she is behaving is normal and she thinks you have to step up because she deserves better.
8. You Are Selfish
You might have expected me to go on and on about her poor behaviour but maybe she is acting out because you have been acting very selfishly.
So try to be more conscious about being selfish and see if that helps improve her well-being.
9. You Cheated
Have you cheated on her with someone else? Hey, even DM-ing someone on IG is construed as cheating.
She might be feeling more anxious and worried you may do it again. So she could be annoying you by constantly checking in on you and your whereabouts.
10. You Are Overthinking It
Is she being annoying? Or are you overthinking it? For all you know, she is being a really good girlfriend to you but you are more susceptible to being irritable.
It could be your work stress, family life or other things going on. You could then be projecting this onto her and blaming how you feel on her.
11. Deep Resentment
Could she be harbouring some deep resentment? Maybe she struggles with communicating what that could be.
Her resentment is manifesting in behaving annoyingly to you.
12. She Feels Her Needs Are Not Met
Do you know how she feels loved? Heard of the love languages? Get her to do this to discover how she wants to feel appreciated and loved by you.
You might assume that you know her well enough but it’s important to note that people change. Receiving gifts used to be my number one way of feeling loved before I had kids.
Now I appreciate words of affirmation more from my husband as I have grown older.
13. She Is Sick
It might not be a mental issue she is facing but a physical one. Maybe she is in pain and is taking it out on you.
No bets are off the table so you have to ask her with genuine concern to get the right answer.
14. Inequity With Chores
This only applies if you live together. But she might feel like the weight of the world is on her. Hence she might be more snappy at you.
You guys are not even married yet and you are expecting her to do more of the chores at home. Is it any wonder she is nagging at you incessantly?
Can be annoying to you, right? So is it for her?
15. She Doesn’t See A Problem
Trust me when I say this. Your girlfriend is not trying to make your life hard. She is not exactly googling how to be an annoying girlfriend.
So if you keep feeling she is annoying but not tell her. She is not going to change.
She might think that you guys have the best relationship and that she is a great and supportive girlfriend.
In other words, don’t expect things to change if you keep doing the same things which is to avoid telling her.
15 Solutions To Why Is My Girlfriend So Annoying
1. Be Honest
Get specific with her. Tell her what has been on your mind and why you may find her behaviour slightly more annoying than usual.
If she is someone who is focused on her growth, she will own up to it and work with you.
If she gets defensive and blames you for all her actions, then you will know that this relationship no longer serves you.
2. Counselling
I applaud young couples who seek out therapy/ counselling even as they are dating rather than when they are knee-deep into a marriage they resent.
Getting a neutral party to frame healthy conversations can provide the building blocks to sustain your relationship.
3. Demonstrate Appreciation
Now that you know her love language, google ways to express it. After all, you did do this once at the height of your love affair.
So time to get back swinging into that romance.
4. Apologize
Why should I apologise?
Hey, I hear you but sometimes she could be acting out from something you did.
So as you have that conversation with her about how her behaviour can be annoying, take stock of your actions that may have contributed to her being annoying.
5. Offer Space
Maybe she needs a temporary break in the relationship. Ask her what she needs and meet her halfway.
6. Surprise Her
Bring out all the stops on this one. Treat her like the queen she is. Thank her profusely for being in your life and loving you.
7. Practise Self-Care
Whether or not both of you decide to take a break from the relationship, always ensure that both of you practise self-care individually.
It is important not to lose yourself in the relationship by making it end all, be all.
I know, self-care is often associated with women but hey, men need some space to do their own thing too.
Here are some simple ideas to get you started!
8. Get Intimate
Intimacy can help boost both your moods. I know my husband is always more receptive to what I have to say after some lovemaking in between the sheets.
9. Sign Up For A Relationship Retreat
Reset your relationship by going on a trip anywhere in the world. There are over 12 couples you can consider to build your relationship further.
Too expensive? It’s okay. You can easily DIY your retreat which might make it even more special!
10. Focus On Yourself
You should consider taking up a new hobby like tennis or golf to get your mind out of the relationship.
Or, consider sending a quick text to your best guy friends and going to town with them to get some air in.
You might just come back to the relationship feeling rejuvenated.
11. Put Yourself In Her Shoes
How would you want to be spoken to? How would you want to be told you might be annoying to someone?
Surely, you would realise that it might not be so easy for her to hear these things, am I right?
12. Quality Vs Quantity Time
Just because you schedule date nights 2 times a week, doesn’t mean it is fruitful and intentional.
As I said before, are you both just sprawled in front of the TV, watching a giant screen and calling it a date?
Spend more time on creating quality dates. Don’t worry, planning a date shouldn’t just be left to you.
Get her to contribute as well especially if the both of you are planning your lives together for the long haul.
13. Understand Her
Get to know what is on her mind, why is she so stressed all the time, and when is her menstrual cycle.
When we understand our partners better, we can better serve them and they can in return be their best selves to us.
14. Be Kind
Look, if roles were reversed, how would you feel? You would want her to be gracious to you, right?
Similarly, learned to treat her empathetically. We truly never know if someone is going through a rough time and might need that extra cup of kindness.
15. Separation
If things don’t seem to be improving after doing your best, I would ask that you consider separation.
It won’t be an easy decision to make but if a relationship doesn’t serve you anymore, it’s okay to walk away.
Conclusion
So there you have it guys, a comprehensive list of reasons why is my girlfriend so annoying and some practical recommendations that can get you back on the romantic path.
Relationships aren’t always so smooth sailing so these are one of many bumps you will come across in your journey.
Try to have deep and meaningful conversations with your partner if you want to keep her in your life.
After all, if you are in it for the long run, you will need to prepare each other for more annoyances in the future.
Let me know if anything here resonates with you and your girlfriend.
Sending you love and light always!
Frequently Asked Questions On Why Is My Girlfriend So Annoying
How Do I Deal With An Annoying Girlfriend?
- Recognise what is causing you to be irritated
- Practise emotional regulation
- Take ownership over your own feelings
- Let things go and focus on other things in your life
- Take a breather and talk things out when you are both calm
- Shift your outlook in life.
Is It Normal To Be Annoyed By Your Girlfriend?
Yes, annoyance is very common as we are only human. So long as you are forthcoming with your girlfriend on what ticks you, you can work on improving your relationship better.
A healthy bit of annoyance is actually a positive sign that there is still a lot of life left in your relationship.
How Do I Make It Up To My Girlfriend?
- Tell her that she is right when she is
- Shower her with genuine compliments
- Be vulnerable with your thoughts and love for her
- Cook her a warm meal
- Bring her out for a meal
- Apologise
- Take accountability for your own actions in the relationship.
Should I Apologize For Being Rude?
Yes, if you hurt, insult, yell at, tease or disrespect someone. You should apologise because it shows you value the relationship and respect the person enough to be humble.
After all, you are not always right in every situation. It is also a chance for you to act with integrity.
How Can I Be A Better Boyfriend?
- Listen intently when they speak
- Let them know often how you feel about them
- Look at problems as us vs the problem
- Learn to communicate well
- Empathise with her point of view
- Understand how she wants to be loved
- Send her a meaningful text throughout the day
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