My Girlfriend Is Talking To Another Guy Behind My Back – 10 Reasons

1. Not Into You

Let’s get straight to it. Have you thought of the fact that maybe she is not into you anymore? So her talking to someone might indicate she wants out.

Perhaps she feels unseen in the relationship and her ‘love tank’ is not full with you. I can imagine how distressing this must be to hear this.

Unfortunately, it is a reality in most relationships as people are spoilt for choice thanks to the invention of Tinder or Bumble.

It gives you the illusion that other people can make you feel better and she has fallen for it.

Sure, it is hurtful when she is always choosing to talk to other guys, but what if, instead of nagging at her for doing it…..

You surprise her with something that reminds her that you are the ONLY guy that knows exactly what she needs. How to do that? Well, check out my top gifts for your girl below!

Win – win for both, eh? 😉

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Surprise her with these thoughtful gifts:

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My Girlfriend Is Talking To Another Guy Behind My Back

2. Lack Of Respect

Fundamentally, it is biological for a woman to look up to a man for respect.

Maybe you have lost a job recently or are stuck in your rut, she might feel uninspired to be around you and is seeking something that will motivate her in her own life.

She can’t do that if she lacks respect for you.

3. She Wants To Have Control Over You

She feels like the dominant one in the relationship and gets to decide the trajectory. Her poor behaviour stems from her wanting to control you.

4. It Is All In Your Head

Are you overthinking things? Are there a lot of intrusive and negative thoughts surrounding the idea that my girlfriend Is talking to another guy behind my back?

Maybe you are paranoid. It might just stem from your insecurities.

5. She Is Trying To Get Your Attention

My boyfriend at that time, now husband spent a good 6 months overseas and back there Skype was over shaky lines and calls were so few and far in between.

I was going through a really tough time at work and needed him so much.

Unfortunately, the distance and the lack of connectedness resulted in my texting an old guy friend. He became my confidant when my boyfriend wasn’t.

I knew it could have gone down a different path so after I while, I decided to end all communication with that other guy out of respect for my partner.

She could have been vying for your attention the longest time and this is her last resort. She hopes by you discovering that she is talking to someone else, you might be jealous and will want to woo her back instead.

Unfortunately, this technique is something that doesn’t always work and can backfire.

It takes emotional maturity from both sides to communicate how both of you want to be treated in the relationship.

6. She Is Planning A Surprise

Yup – sounds odd, but maybe she is talking to someone to coordinate the biggest surprise you have ever had. So you might not want to jump the gun and ‘attack’ her for this.

The only way for you to find out for sure is to ask her gently.

7. She Is Hiding Something

You might think it is solely an affair but there are many reasons why she might be hiding something from you. This is why you could be experiencing the situation that my girlfriend is talking to another guy behind my back.

She might be sick and doesn’t want to worry you – yet. Her parents might be having problems with your relationship and she is not ready to tell you just yet.

As you can see, the list of reasons can range from just about anything. So be open to listening when she speaks to you.

8. She Is Cheating

Oh boy – this a tough one but infidelity happens in a lot of relationships these days. Please know that it isn’t your fault for her poor behavior.

She has to take accountability for her actions if she is supposedly unhappy in your relationship.

9. Selfish Behavior

Some people are born with this trait to be selfish. She only thinks of herself and what she can get from another guy without thinking of how it might make her feel.

10. She Doesn’t Think This Is A Problem

This might boil down to being just absent-minded without a care in the world. She might not even realise the impact and consequences of continuously keeping in touch with another guy.

Sure, it might start as just a friend but it might turn into something else and she might be too clueless to even realise!

My Girlfriend Is Talking To Another Guy Behind My Back – 15 Tips

1. Accept

If this situation is confirmed to be true, accept the wave of emotions that may come by. Frustration, anger, resentment, hurt, betrayal.

We are only human and it is fair to feel the barrage of emotions.

2. Don’t Lose Faith

Now that you have made some sort of peace with your emotions, don’t lose faith. Yes, her potentially cheating on your relationship might be painful to experience but is this what your entire relationship is?

It is more than the ‘affair’. You might have buried each other’s parents, been there for the highs and lows of life so don’t let this be the only reason you end things.

3. Communicate

Schedule a detailed conversation to discuss this at a time when both of you are calm and level-headed.

Ask her gently her reasoning for speaking to some other guy. It could be completely innocent so don’t jump to conclusions here.

4. Assess Your Relationship

Have a meaningful conversation about the direction of your relationship and see if both of you are aligned.

She must be made aware so that both of you can work on the relationship daily instead of involving external parties.

5. Quality Time

She could be trying to fill a void by seeing/ talking to another person. Spend some quality time together by having purposeful conversations and activities.

This is your time to engage in fun activities together to strengthen your relationship!

6. Be Kind

This is an incredibly hard move especially after you feel she has betrayed you but only love and kindness can heal your relationship.

We truly never know what another person may be going through.

7. Take A Break

Both of you might benefit from a break. You can practise self-care in these moments and realise if the relationship is what both of you truly want.

8. Put Yourself In Her Shoes

Practice some empathy here.

She might be struggling with something and might not know how to communicate this with you because she doesn’t think you can handle it or provide her with the emotional support she needs.

9. Level Up Your Intimacy

Intimacy is a huge component of a healthy relationship. Have you worked on this part recently as a couple?

Maybe it is time to create a stronger bond in this domain by asking her what she might need from you to have a healthy intimate life.

10. Don’t Take It Personally

It is hard right when our partners cross a boundary.

But the truth is, sometimes it is not about you. Your partner might be carrying some baggage from her childhood, family life or even past relationships.

She might not understand why this is so important to you. So avoid taking things so personally.

11. Focus On Long Term Goals

If you desire to be married to her, you will need to start practicing as if you are already married. A big tenet in marriage is sacrifice and service.

What this means is realizing that she comes with her flaws and so do you. You will need to forgive her if she has made amends and not hold it over the relationship.

12. Prioritize You

Yes, you! Let’s say her actions were completely innocent but this is triggering for you because you might be suffering from poor self-esteem or insecurities.

Well, if you do not prioritize yourself and improve how you think about yourself – you might just run the risk of this happening in your next relationship.

You will soon realize that it might not have even been about her.

13. Attend A Relationship Retreat

I often view challenges in my relationship as a chance to level up my growth.

So consider signing up for a relationship retreat where you can experience deeper love and commitment.

There are so many private retreats that enhance your closeness to your partner by creating a designated time and space for you to work on the relationship.

14.Therapy

Therapy can be a great tool to build on your relationship. It provides a neutral ground for you to discuss your thoughts and expectations as a team.

15. Consider Ending Things

If she continues to talk to a guy despite you telling her then perhaps it is time for you to walk away.

There is only so much you can do if she doesn’t want to reciprocate what is needed for the relationship to flourish.

Conclusion

And that concludes our article on why and what to do when you feel your girlfriend is talking to another guy behind your back.

It can be tough when this happens and all sorts of thoughts may race through your mind but as I said before, this unfortunately happens a lot in relationships.

You will need to have a deep meaningful conversation with your partner if you wish to pursue this relationship further.

For some couples, they might end up stronger and more united but for others this might signify the end.

Let me know if anything here resonates with you and your partner.

Sending you love and light always!

Frequently Asked Questions On My Girlfriend Is Talking To Another Guy Behind My Back

Is It OK That My Girlfriend Talks To Other Guys?

Yes, it’s normal for her to other guys just as it is normal for you to speak to other women.

Obviously, this doesn’t mean engaging in anything other than friendly chatter with them. Keep your focus on respecting her as your partner and that will help keep the attraction alive for her in the relationship.

Why Is My Gf Talking To Her Ex Behind My Back?

There’s a pretty high chance, you’re her fallback guy and she wants to keep her decisions open as to her life partner.

She might be engaging in something called hypergamy which means trading up guys in the hopes of finding the highest-value man she can find. Communicate to set expectations with her.

Is It Cheating If You Talk To Another Guy?

Yes, you are cheating if you are engaging with the opposite sex to flirt or create another relationship aside from a simple friendship.

If you are in an unhappy relationship, speak to your partner to find a resolution rather than to seek out a third party as it is highly disrespectful.

What Is Micro Cheating In A Relationship?

Behaviors or actions by your partner that make you question their emotional or physical commitment to your relationship.

It might entail regularly texting someone they find attractive or liking social media pictures from the opposite sex. This will lead to a slow erosion of trust and can spell the end for the couple.

Is It A Red Flag If She Still Talks To His Ex?

No, it’s not a red flag if she is merely talking to him. They might have been friends even before their relationship.

Most of your fears could stem from your own insecurities so that is why you may fear the worst. It is important for you to communicate so that she understands your needs.

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