Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married – 17 REASONS Why

1. Fear Of Commitment

Let’s get to the crux of things. She is fundamentally afraid of commitment. I know what you are thinking, isn’t it usually men who are afraid of commitment?

But well, this is not limited to men alone as you now can understand.

Her fear of commitment can come from a whole host of reasons ranging from childhood trauma to debilitating anxiety.

You will need to speak to her to understand why she has this fear.

Easy Ways To Get Your Girlfriend To Open Up:

Surprise her with these gifts and I assure you, she will be at least more likely to open up about why she wants to avoid getting married.

– 199 Meaningful Conversation Cards for Couple (this is a great tool I personally use in my relationship)
– Gold Plated White Crystal Roses Flowers Necklace
– Forever Flowers

2. Thinks Marriage Is A Piece Of Paper

Some people do not seek the external social validation required for their relationship. She can easily have children with you without the worry of having the government get involved.

Happiness to her is having you at home and doesn’t need to be ‘certified’ by a religious person or a government official.

3. Trust Issues

Girlfriend doesn’t want to get married?

I am going to admit that I did have trust issues with my boyfriend then, now husband. I wasn’t sure if he was truly the ONE.

After all, it is such a huge decision to make that has an impact on the rest of your life.

So I started the relationship very hot and cold and was always leaving him on a ledge.

4. Witnessed Many Failed Marriages

Girlfriend doesn’t want to get married?

Look at the divorce rates. America has a higher divorce rate than the average. That means you are more likely to divorce than to win a lottery.

It feels almost like a guaranteed sure shot to failure.

So, she might be thinking why take on the risk and ruin a perfect relationship? At least this is what she thinks.

She has been around divorced couples to know about the lifelong damage it can cause.

5. You Cheated

If you have cheated before, she might have her guard up. She might be using you as a placeholder before she meets someone better.

6. She Is Cheating

Similar to the point above, perhaps she is cheating on you and thus is waiting for the relationship to run its course. This is why she is non-committal.

7. She Doesn’t Like Your Parents

When she marries you, she marries your family. Yes, you can go on and on about how you will live in a different home, etc. but the reality is so different.

You will have aging parents, and holidays together and the children will certainly want to be around their grandparents.

So if she doesn’t like your family for any reason – you can think twice about her saying yes.

Your next question might be – so why bother being in a relationship with me if you don’t like my parents? Well, she might just be enjoying the ride for now with you.

8. She Is Scared Of Losing Herself

Part of marriage is giving some parts of your own and joining together as one. She might not be ready to give that up.

Most women these days are extremely independent. She might think that she has to give that all up to be a stay at home.

So perhaps some communication between the both of you might help to alleviate those fears.

9. She Has Mental Health Issues

Girlfriend doesn’t want to get married, you say?

Could she be indecisive and unsure because she is suffering from mental health issues? It is the ones that seem the most normal that might be suffering in silence.

10. She Has A Deep Dark Secret

Just when you think it might just be mental illness she is hiding from you – it might just be something bigger than that.

11. She Is Afraid Of Sharing Her Money

Money is the biggest reason why couples divorce. She could be earning way more than you and is quite comfortable with that lifestyle.

Now if she marries you, her quality of life might look different.

She might not want that for a life.

12. Her Parents Don’t Like You

She adores her parents. They are everything to her. Unfortunately, they don’t think you deserve her.

So until they give her the approval, she isn’t ready for marriage with you.

13. Do Not Share Similar Values

Dating someone and choosing to partner with them for life are two different things. Values and religion come into play.

The more similar you are, the less friction you may have – or so you think.

I know it was essential for me to marry a Catholic because I saw myself raising children in the Church. If he wasn’t a Catholic, I wouldn’t even go on a date with that person.

So while you guys are having lots of fun dating, living together for a lifetime and raising the future generation is a whole other matter.

14. She Resents You

There is underlying resentment and bitterness here. Something she might even fail to communicate with you. Hence, the thought of building a life with him scares you.

15. You Just Started Dating

Some people might choose to date and marry within 6 months but others may require a longer time to get to know each other.

You jumping the gun after a few months might be overwhelming to her.

16. She Just Came Out Of A Divorce

If she has been hurt badly in her previous relationship, you must understand that it will be hard for her to get back into it.

Marriage represents a very painful memory for her and she needs to heal for her to even want to try it again.

And if she doesn’t want it again, you must empathize with her experience. Perhaps she doesn’t need the ring to truly be in love.

17. You Don’t Get Along With Her Friends

Look, I am a girl with a lot of friends and I like that my friends adore my boyfriend (then) and husband (now).

It is easy for all of us to hang out and do activities since everyone gets along.

But if you cannot get along with her friends, I assure you, she thinks you do not belong in her future which is why she isn’t going to say yes to your proposal.

Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married – 13 Solutions

1. Talk To Her

Right now you don’t know enough about why she is feeling this way. Maybe there is a chance you can change things but there might be a chance you can’t.

So get to the bottom of things by asking her why.

2. Find Out If She Is Still In Love

Asking questions you may not want answers to can be extremely challenging. But rest assured this is a good place to start.

If she is truly in love with you, she will try to meet you halfway.

If she is just using you as a placeholder like I mentioned earlier, it is best for you to be aware of it and to end things as this relationship will go nowhere.

3. Talk About The Positive Sides Of Marriage

There is a whole list of reasons why people choose to marry besides just being in love.

For example, you get a companion for life through the many opportunities and problems you may have. It also can provide emotional and financial security.

Some will choose to marry because they want to bring children into the world although this isn’t always necessary in this day and age.

You may want to broach this topic gently as it highly depends on how receptive she is to the idea.

4. Invite Both Families Together

Perhaps having both sides together can give her a beautiful glimpse of the future. It gives a chance for both families to bond.

5. Work On Yourself

Perhaps her saying no is a sign for you to work on yourself. We all have baggage and emotional trauma that we may want to fix by ourselves before even thinking of a long-term commitment.

6. Consider Couples Counselling

Sometimes you need a neutral party to provide some context and frame for your relationship. Honestly, it is a great thing to start therapy before you enter into marriage. At least both parties can manage expectations before entering a long-term commitment.

7. Speak To Other Married Couples

Perhaps her fears of getting committed are unfounded. Engaging with other married couples might just be the solution you both need.

She can ask them questions about their challenges and opportunities.

For all you know, this might just be the thing that tips her decision as she can visualize how marriage might be.

8. Date Longer

This might not be the advice you would expect but perhaps you need to date for a longer period. Some couples are so sure about marriage within 6 months like my parents whereas for my husband and I, it took 10 years before saying I do.

In this season of waiting, learn to truly enjoy each other.

9. Provide Space

She might be feeling overwhelmed with the relationship and some space between the both of you could do you a favor.

10. Put Yourself In Her Shoes

Imagine if roles were reversed and you felt pressured to make the biggest decision of your life.

It can be extremely stressful for her if you keep harping on the topic of marriage.

Remember who you marry has a huge impact on the outcome of your life.

Yes, you can say you could divorce one day if things don’t work out but the reality is, you leave with the scars of a painful relationship forever.

11. Be Open Towards Alternatives

Have you considered alternative arrangements such as a long-term partnership? Marriage isn’t for everyone.

Ask yourself if you need the piece of paper as a symbol of your eternal love with each other.

12. Sign Up For A Relationship Retreat

A relationship retreat might feel less intimidating for her than therapy.

The relationship coach will provide a safe environment for her to share her inner desires and fears about taking the relationship to a new level.

Girlfriend Doesn't Want To Get Married_3

13. Time To Head Out

If the relationship isn’t meeting your needs, it’s time for you to end things. It is painful for sure but expecting her to change to fit your life will not do the both of you good.

Imagine if she said yes to please you and many years later, she holds a lot of resentment.

Is that the type of marriage you want?

Conclusion

So there you have it guys, answers to why your girlfriend doesn’t want to get married.

I hope the input I mentioned sheds more light and hopefully understanding of why she is the way she is.

There will always be bumps in the road for relationships – this is one of many. So work on building your relationship provided she is willing to meet you halfway.

Let me know in the comments if anything truly resonates with you – or perhaps you may have other ideas on this topic that help another reader.

Till then, love and light!

FAQs On Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Get Married

Can A Relationship Work If One Person Doesn’t Want To Get Married?

Yes, it is entirely possible to have a committed and loving relationship without marriage. You do not need a piece of paper to symbolize the eternal love for each other.

However, some people choose to get married so that they can raise their children in a safe and secure environment.

Is It Normal For A Woman To Not Want To Get Married?

Yes, increasing career opportunities and independence, a rise in infidelity are several reasons identified by researchers.

Some also find more security and get very comfortable living with their parents and siblings which is why they do not need marriage.

The world we live in is very different, so it is natural for women to change.

Can A Man Love You But Not Want To Marry You?

Yes, he may love you completely and fully but still not want marriage.

If he does all the right things meaning he is committed to you, a man of his word, etc then his love for you is probably real.

He may have a legitimate reason to avoid marriage which you may want to discover.

What Do You Call A Woman Who Never Gets Married?

She is called a spinster which refers to a woman who spins thread, a job for unmarried women.

Another term that was used to describe a woman who never got married is old maid.

Is It Okay For A Girl To Be Single?

Yes, being single does not mean you are at bad at relationships. In fact, singlehood should be embraced as it is time for you to do your things and explore parts of yourself you might not have had time to do.

Singlehood these days are celebrated by the current generation.

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