Anger Management For Christians – 13 Quick Fixes (2024)

Anger management for Christians is such a highly searched topic on Google.

I know personally how anger can get the best of you and your spouse.

You might be at a loss at how to even approach the matter because you are somehow ‘expected’ not to be angry as a Christian.

Sure, the Bible has a lot of verses on anger management but is it so easy to practice this in the real world?

Well, rest assured, I will walk you through why anger happens, and the consequences of it.

Also included are some helpful and practical strategies to get you through these bouts of emotions.

Let’s get straight to it!

Disclaimer:

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What Is The Biblical Root Of Anger?

Proverb for the Day 29:11 says a fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

Anger often comes when we want to control a situation that we can’t.

Realizing that evil lies when we try to control a situation is important because this is when we start to replace God’s will with our own.

Does Anger Have A Purpose?

Did you know anger is designed to be a survival tool?

This response comes from us wanting to defend ourselves from enemies at large back in the day.

Anger also provides us with a sense of control.

People who display anger are in better positions to fulfill their needs as they can communicate their wishes, albeit in an unhappy manner.

6 Other Ways Anger Can Be Helpful:

– Increase Motivation (your boss gives you a strict deadline. You are upset but it also pushes you to work twice as hard to meet his expectations)

– Set Boundaries (as you work through conflict with others, you will learn how to set limits with people so that the situation is not repeated)

– Face Conflict Head On (anger forces you to confront the conflict at hand and possibly develop a better understanding of other people around you)

– Help You Meet Your Needs (anger alerts you to realize that you are unhappy with the current situation and something needs to change as soon as possible)

– Leads to Improvement (as you discover you have anger issues, you are more than likely to seek out strategies to help you cope with this wild beast)

–Higher Self-Awareness (you are more aware of what makes you tick and how it can make other people feel)

Is Being Angry So Bad?

What are the consequences of unchecked anger?

– Poor Heart

Anger can be extremely damaging to your cardiac health. Your risk for a heart attack doubles after an angry outburst.

– Stroke Risk

Being prone to lashing out can put you at serious risk for a brain aneurysm.

– Compromised Immunity

Frequent anger outbursts weaken your immunity. Studies have shown that even recalling an angry past, causes a dip in your immunity levels.

– Make Your Anxiety And Depression Worse

In depression, one tends to ruminate on things that upset you but never take action.

13 Quick Fixes On Anger Management For Christians

1. Opt For A Breather

See how you feel after putting a timer on for 10 minutes. Then, take a walk around your house or even your neighborhood.

Perhaps it’s been a while since you walked to the park to get some oxygen and greenery in.

Is the problem oh so bad after you have had time to process it?

10 breathing exercises can help you with this!

2. Turn To The Bible

Meditate over some Christian verses in times of anger.

Or better yet, have a few phrases written in your wallet for you to quickly reflect on as you may not have time in the heat of the moment to open your Bible.

Check out 32 Bible verses that can offer you peace.

3. Relax

Yoga, meditation, or just a simple cup of coffee can do wonders as tools to help with anger management for Christians.

Nothing fancy is required for you to enjoy some alone time with your thoughts.

Another thing for you to consider is to repeat a calming phrase like “This too shall pass” to encourage further relaxation.

4. Music

Some prefer rocking out to head-banging music whilst others prefer something relaxing like jazz to give them some peace.

Whichever one you choose, know that it takes you a more relaxing part of your day.

This is definitely a fun and helpful strategy for anger management for Christians.

5. Stop Talking

When you are angry, it is easy to spew out words you do not mean and hurt others.

But when your lips are sealed, it allows you to think about the issues that are making you all riled up.

6. Journal, Journal, Journal

Yes, I know what you are thinking. I am no writer!

But hey, everyone can jot down some quick thoughts about what triggers you and how you found ways to cope during an angry situation.

Never know, you could see a pattern that can prevent future outbursts.

7. Read Self-Help Books/ Class

Have you considered looking into anger management books online? There are tonnes of resources available at the drop of a hat.

There is even an anger management class for people wanting to seek long-term solutions to their existing anger.

8. Talk To Someone

Be it a friend, colleague, or therapist.

Someone else may have better insight into your trigger points and can advise you from a neutral perspective.

This can help you release those pent-up feelings.

9. Watch A Sitcom

Laughing is a sure way to keep you calm. Numerous studies have proven that endorphins released when you laugh can make you feel good.

10. Have Some Chocolate

Chocolate contains a chemical called phenylethylamine that can lift your mood almost instantly.

That is the same natural anti-depressant that your brain produces when you fall in love!

11. Be Grateful

Not taking away from how serious the issue that made you angry is but be grateful for it.

Sounds strange?

Realizing what a blessed life you already lead can help to neutralize the already stressful situation.

10 Ways To Be Grateful Today

– Say 3 good things that happened today

– Record this in a gratitude journal

– Thank your partner, friend, or family member

– Cool your anger by reviewing your past gratitude journal entries

– Thank yourself for being the amazing person you are

– Remember the good moments throughout your day

– Look for silver linings daily

– Look towards other people to develop greater empathy

– Have a switch in perspective

– Have a no-digital day to bask in the beauty of the day

12. Practice Forgiveness

What does it take to forgive another?

Lots of patience and emotional intelligence.

But if you start to practice this enough, you realize that your emotions are within your control and not the other way around where they control you.

13. Empathize

What does it feel like to be in the other person’s shoes?

Perhaps that person had some valid points to share on a specific topic but is unable to do so when you are in an angry state.

This can lead to other people closing off on you for fear of your anger.

But what happens when you are the one dealing with an angry partner? Let’s delve into that in the next section.

What About An Angry Spouse?

Anger typically stems from hurt. People often lash out at those closest to them because it’s easy and they won’t leave, unlike your friends who wouldn’t tolerate such abuse.

I remember when my husband was struggling with his workload and he would often lash out at my son or me.

I used to take it very personally and would often get emotional about it.

Little did I know that it was never about me but more about him not being able to control his situation at work.

4 Steps To De-Escalate The Situation In A Marriage

1. Do Not React To Their Anger

Even if they hurl out mean comments, try not to let it get to you.

For them, it’s processing their feelings – albeit not in a good way.

Of course, if this builds up into full-on emotional or physical abuse – please seek help immediately from the local authorities.

2. Apologize But Only If It’s Your Fault

It is confusing to the other party if you apologize when it’s not your fault.

An apology at the right time may even cool their hearts and help them see your perspective.

3. Analyze

As a spouse, it might be easier for you to see what triggers them.

Perhaps you can list down all the times they flew into a rage and see what the commonalities are.

This can be a useful tool in handling anger management for Christians.

Once they are calmer, try to talk to them about it and ask them how you can help. Do not go at them but instead display some empathy and compassion.

We do not know if there is an underlying mental issue at the core of their anger.

4. Practice Self-Care

It might feel like you are giving so much of yourself to your angry spouse. You may not feel very much like yourself during this process.

Designate some time away from the situation/ your partner so that you can time do something nice for yourself.

Perhaps it is you taking a walk or attending a meditation class nearby etc.

Always remember, the only way for you to help yourself is for you to be whole yourself.

Some suggestions for self-care:

– Cook nutritious meals for yourself

– Spend 10 minutes decluttering your home

– go for a walk around the neighbourhood

– Cozy up to a great book

– Soak it up in the bathtub

– Get a facial mask done within the comfort of your home

– Plant something in your home

– Volunteer at a homeless shelter

– Call a friend

What Counts In The End

Anger is what God also chose to instill in us and can be used in a positive way to generate the desired outcome.

But, when it starts to escalate to the point that it is affecting your day-to-day life with your family and friends, know that you need to seek help as soon as possible.

Although anger management for Christians can be rectified using the tips above, sometimes seeking a mental health therapist nearest to you is a better option.

That person will be well qualified to identify your triggers and advise you on the next course of action.

Disclaimer:

If anger escalates, please note that we do not encourage or advocate for anyone to stay put in an abusive situation.

Abuse can be physical or emotional and either one should not be tolerated by anyone.

Please seek help with the various marriage resources available or contact your local police if this is something you and your family need to stay safe. Never compromise your safety.

Frequently Asked Questions On Anger Management For Christians

How Did Jesus Deal With Anger?

When it mattered, he channeled his anger in defense of others. For example, he says people taking advantage of the poor and he did not hesitate to confront them.

He also knew how to pick his battles. A group of men spat in his face, struck him and also slapped but he did not retaliate.

How Do I Stop Anger Outbursts?

Calm yourself or try some ways to distract

1. Relax your mind and body

2. Adopt mindfulness techniques

3. Avoid rumination

4. Get a cold shower in

5. Call a friend to gain perspective

6. Exercise the anger away

7. Remove yourself from the situation

8. Try to be silent

Did Jesus Ever Experience Anger?

Yes, he felt anger on more than one occasion in the bible. His emotions are well recorded as he was only human.

But he also knew how to manage his frustrations and sometimes turned a left cheek towards those who angered him.

He only spoke up for those that were less fortunate than him.

How Can I Control My Anger In 5 Minutes?

Relaxing imagery and deep breathing can help to soothe anger.

If you continuously practise these simple relaxation strategies, you can easily apply it the next time you feel angry.

Also be sure to identify what your triggers might be and remove yourself from the situation before it escalates and have far reaching consequences.

Does God Accept Anger?

Yes, there are many instances when anger is approved of in the Bible. It is even referred to as righteous indignation.

Being angry itself is not a sin but acting out on it and hurting others around you is. Anger is also a sin when you are not about glorifying God but about yourself.

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