13 Pillars Of Marriage For A Happy & Successful Relationship – MUST READ

Are you looking for pillars of marriage that will help improve your relationship?

Well, look no further as I am here to share with you the importance of knowing these ingredients to a successful marriage.

Why? So that it can set you on your way to a more fulfilling life with your spouse.

Everyone used to talk about the five marriage pillars.

But with modernisation and different challenges coming our way non-stop, I feel the list should be expanded to include 13 examples

So that it can be comprehensive and wholesome!

Let’s get to it.

Disclaimer:

Some of the links on here are affiliate links and I may earn if you click on them, AT NO EXTRA cost to you. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks.

What Exactly Is A Marriage Pillar?

A pillar is a tall vertical structure that is either wood or stone, designed to uphold something.

The fact is, your marriage cannot hold its own on just sheer luck and fingers crossed. 

It needs something sturdy – i.e. pillars to prevent you from drifting into the negative aspects of life.

The examples below are meant for anyone considering a long-term relationship. This list will make you pause and reflect on your role as a spouse within a marriage.

These are also known as biblical keys to a successful marriage.

What Are Some Of The Most Important Marriage Pillars?

1. Trust

Would you lie in bed with someone you do not trust?  Having a spouse you can trust allows you to be open and vulnerable.

You are more likely to share your inner thoughts, fears, and desires since you know they won’t be using this against you with any ill intentions. 

As you journey together as a couple, there are bound to be many experiences where you will need to trust that your partner can ‘pick up the load’ when you are not able to.

For example, taking care of the kids when you are out with a nasty cold. 

Two heads are always better than one when it comes to tackling the many problems in life that will come your way so it will be better if you can trust that they will catch your fall.

2. Respect

Now imagine if they both had bad days at the same time (which happens very often).

Both will be caught snapping at each other without truly taking the time to understand what the other is going through.

One of the ingredients of a successful marriage is that you need to respect one another.

How do you listen when your partner talks to you? Do you roll your eyes/ walk away when they are getting ready to share the most mundane thing with you?

But, hey this is where you must listen intently.

It is easy to ignore your partner’s desires and needs after a long day at work, but if you want to respect your partner, you need to honor them at home.

By allowing them to be their vulnerable selves around you. 

What Are 5 Ways You Can Honor Your Significant Other?

• – Be a man/ woman of God
• – Share your thoughts with her and encourage them to do the same
• – Speak well of each other
• – Show interest in their projects/ passions
• – Use your words wisely and speak kindly to one another

3. Understanding

Men and women are designed to be different so that we can complement each other.

After a long day at work, a man may come home and decide to be a couch potato to destress.

While the woman would prefer if she could talk about the hard day she had and how it made her feel. 

4. Commitment

You are excited about the idea of commitment when you first get engaged.

You become more thrilled about buying a wedding ring than understanding what enduring love is. 

And, that is essentially what a marriage pillar is all about. Something long-term and everlasting.

Commitment in a marriage means seeing through the good and bad sides together.

To achieve marital bliss, couples must overcome challenges and temptations and meet each other halfway. 

What Does Commitment Look Like In A Marriage? 

• – spending significant time with each other
• – envisioning a future together
• – sacrificing your interest
• – not expecting favors in return, at least not instantly

5. Love

You may feel like you are the only one putting in the effort to be in love with your partner.

But the truth is, he/she may be feeling the same about you. Why does it happen? Well, do you know that we all have different love languages? 

For some, it’s a back rub (physical touch) after work.

For others, it’s hearing your other half give you words of affirmation. Others would appreciate it if you left love notes around the house affirming your love for them.

Knowing what each other needs will make you connect to your partner even more and you can do this by taking on  The Love Languages Quiz.

This is another way for you to further strengthen the marriage pillar you and your partner have created.

6. Rituals Of Connection

Creating meaningful rituals as a couple or even family brings you closer.

For my husband and I, it’s attending Sunday mass weekly as a family.

For others, it could be monthly movie outings or a weekly sweat session at the gym.

But I have to say, one of my favorite rituals is talking to my husband long after putting my son to bed.

Here we catch up on the most mundane things or the most interesting things that happened.

Regardless of what the topic is, I know that it is something I look forward to daily.

7. Shared Values

At the start of your budding romance, chemistry and sexual attraction used to be enough.

Over time, your shared values and goals as individuals and a couple need to be aligned. 

Your relationship has a better chance of going the distance if your views around money, parenting, and sex are not just similar but also communicated regularly.

This is because both of you change over time so it’s important to constantly be in touch with your spouse’s thoughts.

8. Sexual Faithfulness

Fidelity alone doesn’t guarantee the success of a marriage. But infidelity in a marriage is a sure way to end a relationship. 

With the rise in technology, faithfulness is not just limited to physical affairs anymore.

Researchers have shown that emotional affairs made easier through social media have equal damage on the marital union.

Also, most affairs don’t just happen overnight. It’s usually a sign that something has been brewing for a while. 

An affair will most certainly scar the faithful spouse and may take years to heal by having to re-establish trust and commitment.

You can identify signs your spouse is cheating.

What Are Some Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage?

• – be thoughtful
• – initiate affection
• – evaluate your vulnerabilities together
• – talk but also listen well
• – prioritize sexual intimacy

This is why it’s important to take stock of the reason why you are looking outside your marriage to feel desired.

Perhaps you have fallen out of love with your partner or you feel rage and resentment towards them.

So you want to look for a way to get out of it by having a dalliance with someone else.

Regardless of the reason, you must be aware of the consequences both to yourself and your family when you decide to have an affair.

9. Patience And Forgiveness

One of the rules for a happy married life is to have the humility to forgive another. Let’s face it, you will easily have more than one argument throughout your marital journey. 

If you do not find it in yourself to have patience and forgiveness for the other party, resentment will only build up.

You then find yourself wanting to avoid coming home to your significant other. 

Forgiving allows you and your partner to have peace of mind and an open heart to allow the both of you to do all that is possible to keep your marital bond intact.

10. Communicate

The art of listening and talking is a skill set not many have.

Plus, between household chores, a job, and your kids’ tantrums, you barely have the time to communicate with the person lying down next to you in bed.

You have to prioritise connecting daily whether it be through a 10-minute lunch call or a nightcap with your partner once the kids are in bed.

Simple issues can often build up into long-term problems that plague the marriage – especially if one party is in the dark about the matter at hand.

11. Laugh Often

How often were you laughing with your significant other when you first dated?

I bet it was more than what you currently experience. It is easy for life to get in the way of you enjoying the time you have with your partner. 

The COVID lockdown with a toddler was extremely stressful for my husband and me.

But we made sure to try and laugh during that challenging period at least once a day to keep our sanity. Never mind it was mostly laughing about how bad my cooking was. 

12. Time

Relationships simply do not work without time spent nurturing them. Yes, we all know how important date nights are.

Admittedly, this becomes hard as you have young kids with you. 

But sometimes, it is about the little things like a quick catch-up right after you put your kids into bed.

Being constantly in tune with your significant other allows you to address your needs.  These are simple examples you can use to build a stronger marriage pillar.

Why is time apart important?

Time apart is equally important. Who were you before they met you?

Surely, you had desires and dreams you wanted to fulfill. But how do you begin to tell your spouse that you need this sacred time to refresh and re-energize?

• – Figure what an ideal alone time looks like to you
• – Be very specific in what you need during that time
• – Assure your partner by saying that the time apart is not about you going astray
• – Focus on a discussion rather than an argument

Craft out time individually to practice self-care as it will greatly benefit you.

I started prioritizing self-care recently.

Some of my non-negotiable rituals now include a 4 step skincare routine every night – regardless of whether my toddler or husband needs me.

I have also started to include exercise back into my routine as it helps to keep my mind and body sharp.

I now come back to the relationship with both my boys feeling refreshed and energized. In doing so, I am offering my best self to them. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

13.  Don’t Be Proud To Seek Advice

Look to those around you who have had successful relationships.

What can you learn? What do they do differently? Problems within marriage are sometimes an opportunity for you to grow and thrive together.

Especially if you can gain from the wisdom provided by others before you. 

So, who exactly are these people you can glean from when it comes to building stronger marriage pillars?

• Friends

Consider going on double dates and having meaningful conversations about your joys and struggles in your marriage.

Try new activities with your married friends such as going for a good hike or consider hosting a game night!

• Family

If you have a good relationship with your parents and in-laws, consider roping in their expertise to shed light on your marital struggles.

After all, they were once in your shoes and may gladly help you along the way.

• Professional 

Consider speaking to a licensed therapist who has experience and knowledge in dealing with these delicate matters.

It’s better to seek out help at the start of your problems.

So the focus can be on strengthening the relationship rather than trying to calm each other down during a nasty argument in front of the therapist.

Now that you have uncovered these examples, I hope that you will be able to apply some of these to your marriage and witness it transform for the betterment of your life. 

Pillars Of Marriage : Final Thoughts

So, there you have it folks, 13 pillars of marriage to strengthen your marital bond today!

Just like our cars, our marriage needs yearly maintenance. These are rules for happy married life.

Check out this free marriage assessment tool to see where you both are in your relationship and build up from there.

But don’t feel pressured to change so many things all at once. Start with just a few steps you can easily implement over the next month or so.

Finally, choosing to invest in a happy marriage is more valuable than most of the superficial things we chase in our lives. And, I promise you, this is more lasting.

Frequently Asked Questions On Pillars Of Marriage

What Are The 5 Pillars Of Marriage In The Bible?

Respect, true love, understanding, trust and faith in marriage. These pillars are what no Christian marriage or even another marriage can survive without.

Other pillars can help support marriages such as communication, patience and forgiveness, sexual fidelity and quality time.

Spouses need to revisit these pillars in their marriage regularly.

What Are The 7 C’s Of Marriage?

Conflict resolution, communication, culture, commitment, caring and sex, contract and character are the 7 C’s which serve as a basis for assessment in couple therapy.

These can be used as to find out where the couple may be struggling with and identify solutions that can help them move forward together in their future.

What Is The 37 Rule For Marriage?

Date and reject the first 37 percent of your total group of lifetime suitors that come into your life.

This magic figure has been thought of as the magic number to find your ideal partner.  The simple rule is to pick the next person who is better than your previous date.

What Is The #1 Rule Of Marriage?

Respect is one of the greatest rules for a happy marriage.

It is important to treat your spouse as your partner in life and not just someone who should bend over backward to your whims and fancies.

It is okay to be angry but it is important never to resort to name-calling.

What Is The 2-2-2 Rule In Marriage?

Going on a date every two weeks, spending a weekend away every two months, and taking a two-week long vacation away every two years is what the 2 – 2- 2- rule in marriage is about.

Carving out intentional quality time to spend as a couple strengthens the marital bond further.

Related Posts For Pillars Of Marriage

• My Husband Always Defends His Daughter – 21 Tips
• My Husband Raises His Voice At Me -26 Reasons & 23 Tips
• Husband Always In A Bad Mood – 28 Tips
• My Husband Ignores Me Unless He Wants Something – 17 Reasons