My Boyfriend Thinks I Don’t Love Him – 20 Quick Wins TODAY!

“My boyfriend thinks I don’t love him!”

Oh no, that must hurt your feelings greatly especially because you feel like you have gone above and beyond to make him happy.

You feel somewhat helpless and lost at what to do. You start to wonder if these feelings will drive him away from you.

Well, to give the necessary assurance that you are in it for the long haul, you will first need to understand why he is feeling this way.

I have listed down a whole host of reasons why he might be feeling this way and some helpful strategies to keep him feeling secure in this relationship.

So, let’s read on!

Disclaimer:

Some of the links on here are affiliate links and I may earn if you click on them, AT NO EXTRA cost to you. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks.

My Boyfriend Thinks I Don’t Love Him – 17 Reasons

1. You Don’t Spend Enough Time With Him

Let’s face it when we first start dating, we spend countless hours just going on dates or even cuddling each other.

Over time, that starts to fade and your partner begins to question if you even love him. Can lost feelings come back? Of course, it can!

For him, it was that strong attraction was what made this relationship different from any other relationships he has had.

2. You Haven’t Made The Relationship Official

In this day and age, it is not official if it’s not on social media.

Perhaps he feels slighted that you are hesitant to share with the world that he is your partner. He almost feels like you are hiding him and not proud of him.

You may just choose to keep your private life private but he doesn’t see things the same way.

3. You Have Different Interests In Life

You might have different hobbies for what you want in life as individuals and as a couple.

For example, with my boyfriend, he never understood why I wouldn’t enjoy diving as a hobby.

He thought me not going on his trips with him was a symbol that I wasn’t interested in him or even loved him enough to make the trip.

4. You Forget Milestones

Perhaps it was his birthday or an anniversary that you forgot. Well, he took it as the relationship must not mean anything to you if you could so easily forget.

Is it any wonder that you feel my boyfriend thinks I don’t love him, then?

5. You Avoid Taking Pictures Together

Similar to the social media posts, you do not want to take pictures of the two of you together.

He sees photographs as shared memories whilst you don’t see any value in them whatsoever.

6. You Do Not Bring Him Home

My boyfriend didn’t want to bring me home when we started dating because he was worried about how his mom would react.

I took this as a sign he must not love me. But the truth is, he was right. His mother didn’t take it well because I came from a different ethnicity.

His logic was that I would keep the two women separate until he had a concrete reason like marriage to introduce us.

7. You Do Not Introduce Him To Your Friends

I remember feeling so hesitant in introducing my partner to my friends. Didn’t want any comments or judgment. Ultimately didn’t feel I needed their approval either.

But he didn’t appreciate that and thought I didn’t love him as a boyfriend.

8. You Don’t Ask About His Matters

Perhaps, it is your personality not to impose on others. You don’t ask in detail about his work and personal life and he takes it as you are simply not interested in him.

Imagine what he thinks when you ignore him.

9. Do Not Go The Extra Mile With Him

You fail to do anything special for him. You treat him like one of your male friends and he feels slighted at the thought of that.

Anyone in his position would feel disappointed that their other half is not making any effort with them.

10. Insecure

He might have had some past trauma either from his childhood or romantic relationships.

He feels insecure regardless of how much effort you put into making him feel appreciated and loved in this relationship.

This is a hard hole to climb out of if you are facing this situation.

11. You Cheated On Him

If you have hurt him in the past by having dalliances with other men, is it any surprise that he feels unloved?

12. You Do Not Share Your Past With Him

This could stem from inner childhood trauma or a past relationship but you not opening up to him makes him wonder if you trust and love him.

Part of building a strong romantic bond is opening up to each other about the wounds that made you who you are.

13. Your Conversations Lack Depth

If you have superficial conversations with him, he might be left wondering if you are truly invested in him.

He might think you are just using him as a placeholder until the next guy comes along.

14. He Is Emotionally Hurting

He might be upset about something in the past but doesn’t know how to communicate that to you. So he keeps bringing up that he feels unloved in the relationship.

Some examples can include:

• – You not calling when you said he would
• – Him needing you in an emergency but you failed to show up
• – Him wanting you to meet his family/ friends

This is a tough one and you will need to be patient to peel back those layers.

15. Different Love Languages

He thinks you don’t love him because you might be loving him all wrong.

I highly recommend that you take the love languages quiz and find out what his actual love language is.

Here are some ways people feel love:

• – Acts Of Service
• – Quality Time
• – Gifts
• – Words Of Affirmation
• – Physical Touch

16. Different Attachment Styles

This is another concept of love you must understand if you are in a relationship.

Attachment styles are formed when an infant is firstborn and have to do primarily with whether or not the caregiver was present during their formative years.

For example, if his mother was not there when he was a baby, you can expect him to be anxious all the time.

He is always worried that you will leave and he will be left alone (just like how he was as a child).

The two of you need to discover your attachment styles to strengthen your relationship further.

17. He Was An Abuse Victim

If he was in an abusive situation previously, you can expect him to be paranoid that you do not love him and might want to leave him. 

Most abuse victims feel they lack control. In return, they might want to be controlling towards you. This is a slippery slope.

I have to be honest with you, if you do not have the tools to be in a romantic relationship with an abused victim, this might not be the right relationship for you.

My Boyfriend Thinks I Don’t Love Him – 20 Solutions

1. Plan Your Future Together

This is both exciting and scary at the same time. Why? Because it demonstrates commitment. Sounds overwhelming?

My now husband and I built a couple of dream boards this January. You can see the picture below. It has pictures we have had over the 16 years we have been together and to goals we have together.

For example, we did the Wheel Of Life to visualize important areas we wanted to focus on this year. The themes that came up were intimacy, exercise, and finance.

We then identified where we were and plotted where we wanted to be!

Benefits of having a common couple vision:

• – Helps couple be on the same page
• – Increases bond between the partners
• – Serves as a fun date idea
• – Makes you understand your partner as an individual
• – Makes you vulnerable with your partner

2. Surprise Him

How to remind your boyfriend that you love him?

Well, who doesn’t love surprises? Find out what tickles his fancy and surprise him.

It doesn’t have to be elaborate but surprising your partner indicates that you think about him to make him happy.

Some ideas that you can do today:

• – Send him a love letter (detail out things I love about my boyfriend) but over email
• – Cook and pack his favorite meal to take to work
• – Give him a long unexpected hug
• – Plan a guys’ night out for him

3. Make It Official

I am a firm believer in showcasing your partner to the world. So make it Facebook/ Instagram or TikTok official if need be.

You don’t have to keep posting pictures regularly but it is important to show you are off the market and are very proud of your arm candy.

4. Engage In His Interests

Okay, this doesn’t mean I am going to sign up to be a rescue diver like my partner.

But, I could plan the entire trip for him and also include myself.

I am sure he would appreciate me coming over for the trip even if I end up just picking up seashells by the beach while he explores nature underwater.

I hope you get the idea.

5. Empathize With Him

There are seasons in every relationship. Perhaps this is the season where he feels unloved.

Your time will come too, I assure you.

So try to engage with him to understand his concerns and come up with some concrete action plans that BOTH of you can partake in.

6. Share Your Past/ Inner Wounds

I will admit, that being vulnerable is scary. But it is also a bonding activity for intimacy.

You can use conversation cards to help frame the conversation if you are unsure of how to start.

My partner and I use this regularly on date nights!

7. Give Him Your Full Attention

When someone is talking to you, it is important to put your phone away and truly listen.

If you love your partner, you will want to honor his thoughts by truly giving him your undivided attention.  It is not that hard to make him feel loved.

8. Do Something Kind Daily

Make it a habit to be kind to him daily. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? But we often go through life forgetting to make our other halves feel special.

Just yesterday, I told my husband how good he smelled. It was random but it sure made his day. So I hope this gets you thinking of the many cute ways to tell your boyfriend you love him.

9. Anticipate His Needs

When my partner returns home after a long day of work, there is nothing he wants more than a warm plate of food.

I am sure to heat it and give him what he needs. I know him like clockwork and I enjoy ‘serving’ him.

The benefits I get from doing just that are indescribable. He rushes to come home and spend time with me and the kids because I have made it his safe space too.

10. Affirm Him Verbally

It is important to validate and appreciate our partner’s presence. I had a lengthy conversation with my partner the other day.

Right before bed, I texted him that I find his thoughts fascinating. As you can see, the compliments are nonsexual. It is celebrating and affirming who he is.

11. Make Time For Him No Matter How Busy Life Gets

It’s an amazing way to make your partner feel like they are cherished.

Meet up during lunch breaks, stop by his workplace, or commute together. It is the simple things that can help strengthen your bond.

12. Encourage More Physical Contact

Almost all men rank physical touch as their number one love language. So give him an unanticipated hug or two.

Touching him playfully will help boost his mood and affection. Couples who frequently touch romantically report a more secure relationship.

13. Cheer Him

Still feeling like my Boyfriend thinks I don’t love him?

Be his biggest fan! I constantly rave about how amazing my then-boyfriend and partner are. I am so proud of him and I know how happy this makes him feel to hear this.

Praise him in front of his family and friends!

14. Share Your Feelings

Yes, you have unloaded the trauma but what about your feelings about everyday life?

He will feel more loved if you go to him for that.

15. Ask Him What He Needs

We often assume we know our partner. I have been together with my partner for 16 years and I do not claim to know him 100%.

He is ever changing and evolving and so am I.

Get to know his latest interests as if you are dating for the first time!

16. Be Receptive To His Affection

Okay, got to be honest here. I have a bad habit of swatting my husband’s hand away whenever he tries to hug me.

I hate physical touch.

But how he feels he is loved by me is when I am choosing to reciprocate his embrace. This is an area I am working on and is more conscious of.

17. Flirt

The art of flirting should not be lost once you are in a relationship. Wear something cute or sexy to surprise him.

Ask him out for a sudden dinner date where you revisit your old habits together. Send him a sexy text. The list is endless.

18. Avoid Criticizing Him

If you criticize him, you can be sure he will not feel loved. Male or female, both do not enjoy their partners looking down on them.

19. Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

Still feel like my boyfriend thinks I don’t love him?

Well, don’t nag and repeat things till the kingdom comes. Be a fun companion!

20. Respect His Family And Friends

You might not like their thoughts/opinions or even the company but it is important to respect where your significant other has come from.

Don’t belittle or criticize them!

Conclusion For My Boyfriend Thinks I Don’t Love Him

Ladies, we finally reached the end of the article on my boyfriend thinks I don’t love him. I hope the reasons I provided have somewhat soothed your nerves.

Even if things go back to how they used to be, continue implementing the tips I mentioned so that the both of you never have to be back here again.

Love is a roller coaster so these strong emotions will come and go. You just need to keep calm and be focused on the end goal which is to be with your partner forever.

Let me know in the comments if anything resonates with you. I would love to hear back!

Love and light!

Frequently Asked Questions On My Boyfriend Thinks I Don’t Love Him

What To Do When He Thinks I Don’t Love Him?

Make an effort to create opportunities for quality time because time is something you cannot recreate.

If he thinks you do not love him, it is probably because he is missing those moments of togetherness.

Both of you can commit to spending the whole day together doing meaningful activities as a couple.

Is It Normal To Think You Don’t Love Your Partner?

Yes, it is normal for relationships to change over time as it goes through many seasons of life.

If you are in this position, you might want to sit with your feelings awhile longer before making a decision to stay or leave.

Your emotions are fleeting but your commitment does not.

Am I Unhappy In My Relationship Or Just Unhappy?

You look for excuses not to see your partner. You feel the desire to be dating someone else and you start to envision a happier life without your current partner.

If these signs are happening to you, perhaps it is time to understand why it is happening and decide if this is what you want.

How Do Men Act When They Don’t Love You?

If he avoids physical and emotional intimacy, becomes emotionally distant, displays hostility or indifference towards your needs and emotions.

Other indicators may include a lack of concerted effort and communication breakdown in the relationship.

You may want to communicate how this makes you feel sooner than later if you wish to salvage the relationship.

Why Am I Struggling To Love My Partner?

You are fundamentally different people with different needs. You are consumed with work so you don’t spend enough time to build on that relationship.

You may feel like the only one invested in the relationship. It is important to communicate these feelings with your partner and develop a plan to move forward.

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