My Boyfriend Expects Me To Pay For Everything – 18 Quick Fixes!

“My boyfriend expects me to pay for everything.”

HELP!

Look, I know how frustrated and angry you must be feeling. Heck, you might even feel resentful that he is putting you in this situation.

It feels unfair, am I right? You might even be ashamed to talk to your friends about this because none of them would ‘tolerate’ such a thing from their partners.

Well, don’t worry; I will walk you through potential reasons why he might be putting you in an uncomfortable position and list some practical solutions to end this problem forever!

Interested? Now, let’s get to it!

Disclaimer:

Some of the links on here are affiliate links and I may earn if you click on them, AT NO EXTRA cost to you. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks.

My Boyfriend Expects Me To Pay For Everything – 20 Reasons

1. He Is Not Working

Let’s get straight to it. You can only expect a little from him if he is working or was recently laid off. It may be the season.

My (then) boyfriend, my husband, and I are the same age, but I graduated a lot earlier and got a fantastic job at a management consulting company with a handsome salary.

He, on the other hand, took 1.5 years longer to graduate. So, I was always ahead of him, and if I wanted luxurious items when we dated, I paid for them.

It was unfair for me to hold it over him because he could not afford to.

2. He Is Irresponsible With Money

He might be doing well at work but needs to learn how to manage his money well.

You see, all the time, someone brings home 10k a month and yet spends frivolously and waits till his pay check comes the next month.

If this is the case, no wonder he expects you to pay for everything because he knows you will be there to bail him out anyway.

3. Feels Entitled

The roles of men and women these days have flipped. Women are entering colleges in record numbers and are often out earning their male partners.

So he feels somewhat entitled to your money, too, even if you don’t live together.

In his head, he feels he would do the same if roles were reversed.

4. He Is Immature

I hate to break it to you, but there are a lot of immature men out there who love living off their partners. They are selfish and forget to consider how this might impact you.

5. He Is A Narcissist

Like being immature, he is ignorant about how this drains you financially and emotionally. He enjoys taking as much as he can from you. This is probably why you feel like my boyfriend expects me to pay for everything.

6. He Is Addicted

If he is making his own money and is running out, ask yourself if he may be having some vices you may not be aware of. Ignorance is bliss, yes.

But having that conversation early will save you a lot of heartache, especially if it’s alcohol or drug-related. You might want to get out now.

7. He Thinks You Are Rich

This sounds all positive at the start, but hear me out. His thinking you are rich, and money comes easy for you only allow him to continue mooching off you.

He needs to see the hard work that you put in.

Even if you come from a wealthy family, it is unfair for him to expect you to indulge him all the time.

8. He Has Debt Issues

He could be spiraling out of control with his debt. College debt adds up, and it might not even be his fault.

But he may feel compelled to keep up with your lifestyle and use his credit card excessively.

Now, he can’t do anything with it, so he has to piggyback off you for dates and living expenses.

9. He Doesn’t Take You Seriously

He doesn’t value you or the relationship. Right now, you pay his bills and feed him gourmet food.

You are the girlfriend for the season.

And if you continue letting him do it, he will not stop because this arrangement benefits him.

10. Enjoys A Lavish Lifestyle

He enjoys the finer things in life but cannot afford to. So why not live off your money?

11. He Is Spoilt

You are someone who has been spoilt his whole life, and he just found the next person to indulge in his behavior, i.e. YOU.

12. He Is Cheating

Sounds bizarre? But maybe he is spending all his hard-earned money on another girl.

Truth is stranger than fiction.

13. You Did It Too

Early on in the relationship, you expected him to pay for everything. He feels like you now earn more, so roles should be reversed.

14. He Has A Family To Support

Maybe he comes from a broken home and has been through the wringer. He gives almost every bit of his income back to his family.

Doesn’t see anything wrong with this. He would expect you to do the same.

But he fails to realize that this is an unfair burden on you.

15. Raised That Way

Since you earn more, he might expect you to pay for everything. Maybe he mirrors what happened in his childhood and sees no wrong in it.

16. He Is Battling Anger And Resentment

He might be unhappy in the relationship and thinks getting you to pay for most things will hurt you.

Well, it does.

17. You Are A Temporary Filler

Oh boy, this is a hard one to swallow. Perhaps he sees you as more of a convenience.

He doesn’t want a long-term relationship, but he gets off the expensive restaurants and lavish lifestyle you provide for him.

If this is the case, you will need to call it quits. I am afraid there is no coming out of this one.

18. He Doesn’t Realize The Damage

If he is anything like my partner, he might not have empathy. He fails to realize how this is taking a toll on you because he doesn’t stop to think.

When we first married, all the expenses related to a home, including purchasing and renovating a house, were on me. It was such a huge burden on me.

My partner didn’t think much of it back then. He just went along with it.

It took multiple rounds of conversation for him to realize that it was hard for me to pay for everything.

19. Doesn’t Trust You

He doesn’t think he can spend money on you for some reason.

He doesn’t think you are the one he wants to spend his life with, which means he doesn’t want to put any effort into it.

And since you are doing it anyway, he thinks, “I fail to see a problem here”.

20. He Wants Out

He doesn’t care anymore and is just using you until you call it quits.

My Boyfriend Expects Me To Pay For Everything – 18 Tips

1. Analyze The Situation At Hand

I believe in giving people second chances. Perhaps he was doing it unintentionally. These habits have grown with him since childhood.

You have to ask yourself if he is worth putting in the hours and effort to slowly change him for the better.

2. Start Talking And Listen Well

Remember that conversing about the hard part of relationships also entails listening to what another may say.

Some helpful steps for you:

• – Set a regular and consistent time to discuss finances (for example, my partner and I do it once a month when our paycheck comes in)
• – Ask what indulgences you want to splurge on this month (it was a weekly ice cream date)
• – Track everything in an app/ Excel sheet that both of you have access to
• – Set some financial goals (for us, we want to save at least $1,500 per month)
• – Listen with empathy to your partner’s challenges with spending/ saving.
• – Focus on an ‘our’ vs mine or your money mentality. Teamwork makes the dream work!

3. Set Up A Monthly Budget

Sit down on a couch and list every expense category you have. Decide how much each of you will contribute to those expenses.

Agree on the amount monthly. If you feel unhappy, discuss it again until you arrive to a shared vision.

4. Make Saving Money Fun

Plan dates that are money-free. Sounds crazy, right? We are so used to associating dating with fancy restaurants and expensive wine. But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Here are some of my tips and tricks:

• – Ride a bike together in a park
• – Organize a picnic
• – Set up a movie night at home, complete with homemade popcorn
• – Find a free concert in your neighborhood
• – Volunteer together at a shelter (my personal favorite)

There are more ideas that you can choose from!

You want to be having a different argument 1000 times. It isn’t fun, I assure you.

5. Encourage Him To Get A Better-Paying Job

Applying for a new job can be overwhelming. Also very scary to get rejected.

So, walk him through this and remind him that a better salary can lead both of you to reach your financial goals sooner rather than later.

6. Set Boundaries And Expectations

If he cannot contribute as much financially as you, lines need to be drawn. Opt for cheaper restaurants/ dates. Cook more at home.

He could do more around the house. Decide how it will look like for you as a couple.

7. Consider Seeing A  Financial Counsellor

It’s okay to seek help from a neutral party that can provide a framework for both of you.

Finances are the number one reason people break up/ divorce.

So please get help as soon as you can.

8. Be Honest With Yourself

You must let him know if you find it too much of a strain.

Some women don’t mind this because their men do other things around the house/ do childcare.

The beauty is that you can decide what kind of life you want.

9. Understand Him

It would help if you asked him about his family and friend’s financial habits. You would be surprised at how much this impacts his personal decisions.

10. Put Yourself In His Shoes

He could be overwhelmed with finances and is trying to figure out how to start. Imagine if the roles were reversed.

You would appreciate it if he was understanding. Try to lead the conversation with kindness.

Men are sensitive to money because of societal expectations put on them.

And when it’s not the case, it can be hard on their self-esteem.

11. Sign Up For A Relationship Workshop

Finances are usually symbolic of something else going on.

Signing up for a workshop where you can get to know each other on a deeper level helps foster respect and trust in the relationship.

12. Ask Yourself If You Are Overthinking It

There are seasons in every relationship. Sure, he may be living off you now, but he may have done the same for you. In the future, things may change.

It was the same for my partner and I. The situation changed when he was afforded a great opportunity with a high-paying income, and I stayed home to care for the kids.

But remember how I paid for everything at the start of the relationship?

I fervently believe in playing the long game with your partner if your partner is decent.

13. Focus On Yourself

Let’s face it: you have neglected yourself in this relationship because you have been giving so much. I encourage you to practice more self-care. It can be straightforward.

Some self-care habits you can do today

• – Have a skincare routine
• – Read a book for 10 minutes every Friday
• – Go under the sun the first thing in the morning
• – Name one thing you are grateful for daily

14. Find Out Your Why Together

Why are the both of you committing to a life of financial freedom? What is the goal you want to achieve TOGETHER?

What is it all for?

15. Celebrate Wins Together

If he changes for the better, celebrate him. Positive reinforcement goes a long way when you implement new habits together.

16. Set Deadlines

If you ask him to get a high-paying job, get a side hustle, or even start paying bills, ensure you are firm with your deadlines.

This is also about respecting yourself, not just expecting him to do the same.

17. Take A Break

If boundaries are crossed, consider taking a break from this relationship.

It would help if you weren’t made to feel like you are mothering him by telling him what to do and reminding him constantly.

A relationship is 50/50, and he is responsible for the life you are creating together.

18. End Things

You can love the guy all you want, but if he doesn’t respect you enough to make some of the choices you BOTH agreed on, then it’s time to walk away with your head held high.

There is only so much you can do as his partner to support him.

Conclusion For My Boyfriend Expects Me To Pay For Everything

Ladies, we finally reached the end of the article on my boyfriend expects me to pay for everything!

I truly empathize with the situation he put you in, but know that this is one of many challenges you will go through as a couple.

After reviewing some of the points I laid out, you can decide how to broach this topic with him and where you want to take this relationship.

I am sending you lots of love and light through this space and hope to see you soon.

Drop me a comment if anything here resonates with your experience. I would love to hear from you.

Frequently Asked Questions On My Boyfriend Expects Me To Pay For Everything

Why Does My Boyfriend Want To Pay For Everything?

Because everything is new or to impress you. Perhaps both of you have different views towards finances.

But if you are uncomfortable with this going on further, you can always make it a point to discuss it with him to ensure that both of you are on the same page.

Who Should Pay For Things In A Relationship?

Both people should offer and can pay for each other in relationships. Everyone has a different income so spending habits may differ.

It is always polite to offer to pay so you do not build resentment in the relationships. Some partners may return the favor in a non monetary way.

Do Guys Like To Pay For Their Girlfriends?

Yes, 78% of respondents said they think men should pay for the first date and surprisingly men think the same.

These are cultural norms that have existed long before time. However, the woman can always offer the pay for dessert or the next date.

A simple thank you can also go a long way.

Am I Supposed To Give My Boyfriend Money?

No, it is not your obligation to support your boyfriend or partner. It is a massive red flag if he is trying to take advantage of your kindness.

Although there are different seasons in life where he might be struggling, he should not be making this a habit. You should also learn to say no.

Is It Normal For Couples To Split The Bill?

Yes, it is perfectly normal to split any bills or expenses.

There isn’t a perfect way to split the expenses but communication is important in ensuring both parties are aligned.

This is to ensure there is built up resentment and bitterness that can sour the relationship in the long run.

Related Posts

• Girlfriend Gaining Weight – 10 Causes & 18 Solutions
• My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex – 17 Reasons & 10 Tips
• Girlfriend Texting Other Guys – 15 Reasons & 12 Steps
• Why Does My Girlfriend Ignore Me – 25 Reasons & 15 Tips
• My Girlfriend Is Talking To Another Guy Behind My Back– 10 Reasons
• Why Is My Girlfriend Is So Annoying – 15 Reasons & Solutions