Do you feel like my girlfriend keeps talking about her ex? I bet it can be so annoying and irritating to have this when you feel like you are only doing your best as her lover.
You might be going through feelings of utter betrayal and hurt. You might even want to call it quits with her.
I bet you also feel alone because it almost feels embarrassing to tell someone that your girlfriend keeps talking about her ex.
Don’t worry – I got your back. I will simply explain to you why this might be happening and what to do about it.
Well, I am here to share with you why this happens in your relationship and share some useful strategies to overcome this problem in your love life.
So, let’s get to it!
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- My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex – 17 Reasons
- 1. She Doesn’t Love You
- 2. She Is A Narcissist
- 3. She Misses Him
- 4. You Do It Too
- 5. You Disappoint Her
- 6. You Are Different From Her Ex
- 7. Doesn’t See A Future
- 8. She Doesn’t Respect You
- 9. She Wants You To Step It Up
- 10. She Is Cheating
- 11. She Is Bored
- 12. You Are Overthinking
- 13. She Feels Taken For Granted
- 14. She Is Hormonal
- 15. You Let Her Get Away With It
- 16. She Is Battling Anger And Resentment
- 17. The End Is Nearing
- My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex – 10 Tips
- 1. Analyse The Situation At Hand
- 2. Understand Her Love Language
- 3. Tell Her She Is Beautiful
- 4. Be Authentically You
- 5. Have A Conversation
- 6. Surprise Her
- 7. Practice Self Care
- 8. Take A Break
- 9. Counselling
- 10. Give Her The Ultimatum
- FAQ On My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex
- What If My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex?
- Is Talking About Ex Toxic?
- Is It A Red Flag If She Talks About Her Ex?
- Why Do I Feel Bad When My Girlfriend Talks About Her Ex?
- Should I Let My Girlfriend See Her Ex?
My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex – 17 Reasons
1. She Doesn’t Love You
Feeling like my girlfriend is secretly talking to her ex?
I know this is hard to hear but she might have fallen out of love with you and looks at her ex so adoringly.
If she could jump ship right this instant, she would but maybe her ex is dating someone else.
So you serve as a placeholder. I know, not a fun thought, eh? But it’s reality.
It is devastating when she is always choosing to talk to her ex, but what if, instead of nagging at her for doing it…..
You surprise her with something that reminds her that you are the ONLY guy that knows exactly what she needs. How to do that? Well, check out my top gifts for your girl below!
This will serve as a win win for the both of you. 😉
Quick Win To Be The Only Guy She Ever Thinks About
Surprise her with these thoughtful gifts:
- – Gold Plated White Crystal Roses Flowers Necklace
- – Forever Flowers
- – Shark HD430 FlexStyle Air Styling & Drying System (every girl is raving about this!)
2. She Is A Narcissist
Some people love putting other people down just to see them in pain.
So she might be suffering from narcissism where she constantly brings up her ex just to get a reaction out of you.
I know you might be feeling like my girlfriend keeps hurting me emotionally but here are some common signs you might be dating a narcissist:
- – Gaslights you
- – Sense of self-importance
- – Loves to talk about themselves
- – Entitled
- – Arrogant
- – Must be admired
- – Lack empathy
3. She Misses Him
This could be an honest thing of just missing him as a boyfriend/ former partner.
It might not be anything but it could lead to disharmony in your current relationship.
She might not even realize she is doing it so you will need to draw boundaries with her.
4. You Do It Too
Hey, if you are doing it too, why is it that you expect her not to? I am sure she feels just as insecure and jealous.
This might lead to a tit-for-tat situation where she wants you to feel the same way so you truly understand how she feels whenever you talk about your ex.
5. You Disappoint Her
You are not stepping up as her partner to provide for her. I don’t mean financially but emotionally and physically.
So she hopes talking about her ex will help you change your ways.
The messaging is subtle from her because she might be afraid of talking to you about it.
6. You Are Different From Her Ex
This might be a good thing or it might be a bad thing.
For example, she might be constantly talking about her but it might be in a negative light like how insecure he is compared to you.
I guess the only way to find out is to ask her why she constantly brings him up.
7. Doesn’t See A Future
If you feel like my girlfriend is talking to another guy behind my back, I am about to share with you some cold hard truth.
If a woman doesn’t see a future with you, she might not think much about hurting you.
For her, you serve as a companion that she can go on dates with and occasionally sleep with.
But you are not someone she sees as her long-term partner.
8. She Doesn’t Respect You
She fawns all over her ex because she values him and doesn’t respect you.
Enough said.
9. She Wants You To Step It Up
Girlfriend talking to ex?
Well, how have you been romancing her? Maybe she wants you to do what her ex used to do.
Yes, I know he is an ex for a reason but perhaps he understood her love language a lot better than you do.
How else to know this other than to ask her directly as to why she keeps bringing him up?
10. She Is Cheating
She might be having an affair with him without you knowing. This might be why she can’t stop thinking about him.
11. She Is Bored
Perhaps the relationship has run its course. She is tired of you and is hoping by her talking about her ex, you will get the memo and leave.
Breaking up is hard to do after all and no one wants to be the bearer of bad news.
12. You Are Overthinking
Are you overthinking her conversations a bit too much?
Maybe she is fine and behaving normally but you are extremely insecure. So you think every single comment from her is about her ex all the time?
Let me warn you that if this continues, your insecurities will lead her to leave you and that is on you – no one else.
13. She Feels Taken For Granted
She feels only her ex understood her. You now make her feel less than others. The only way now for her to seek attention from you is to bring the ex up.
Not the best way but hey, she is willing to do anything so that you change your ways.
14. She Is Hormonal
I am crazy hormonal during my period cycles. I can lash out at my boyfriend for no good reason and this might mean bringing up an ex just to get a reaction.
15. You Let Her Get Away With It
If she has been doing this to you for a while and you never corrected her, how can you expect that she will change?
She might not even realize she is doing it and this now becomes the norm.
16. She Is Battling Anger And Resentment
She might be struggling to communicate her unmet needs in the relationship so talking about her past romantic partner is the easier thing to do.
17. The End Is Nearing
Sorry to break it to you but this might spell the demise of your relationship. She might be hinting to you strongly that she wants to get back together with her ex.
My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex – 10 Tips
1. Analyse The Situation At Hand
Are you overthinking things? Is she bringing up her ex ever so often or are you just sensitive? Feeling like my girlfriend has pictures of her ex on her phone?
I know it is hard to look within and take ownership of your actions but it is important to do so.
For example, if you are overly sensitive, you may let her know gently but at the same time, you also have to know that it is sometimes all in your head.
One reason could be your poor self-esteem which is something you need to work on to help you feel more secure in your romantic relationship.
Listed below are some ways to help boost your self-esteem:
- – Take up a team sport
- – Practice self-care – more tips and ideas below
- – Call a friend
- – Volunteer at a homeless/ dog shelter
- – Learn to be assertive by taking up martial arts
2. Understand Her Love Language
My girlfriend thinks about her ex
What makes her feel loved? Do you know?
I only understood my boyfriend’s (now husband’s) love language after being together for 5 years.
Now that I know he loves physical touch, I give him this more to demonstrate how much I appreciate him.
3. Tell Her She Is Beautiful
Sounds so simple, right?
But yes, reminding your girlfriend how beautiful she looks can certainly keep the spark alive and make your relationship alive again and just maybe this might remind her to forget about her ex.
Look it is hard when you feel like my gf keeps talking about her ex but telling her she is attractive can do wonders.
4. Be Authentically You
I know you don’t want to have the problem that my girlfriend keeps talking to her ex. But hear me out.
Listen if she is going to leave you and go back to her ex, let it happen.
Why because you can’t be anything less than authentic to her. You also wouldn’t want to be someone you are not.
So if she doesn’t want you and keeps harping on her ex – let her be.
5. Have A Conversation
Girlfriend keeps talking about ex?
A lot of people think they have nailed down how to communicate. WRONG.
Hey, I am the first to admit that despite being an extrovert, I struggle in this area. Why? Because communicating involves listening to the good, the bad, and the ugly.
So have an honest conversation with her and tell her how you truly feel every time she brings up her ex. She might not even realize she is hurting you.
If she continues to do it after a heart-to-heart conversation, then she is not the woman for you.
6. Surprise Her
Treat her like a queen to the best of your ability. Appreciate her for being in your life and loving you. You might want to bring out all the stops on this one.
Not sure how to go about it? This page contains some helpful tips. Have fun!
Bring out all the stops on this one. Treat her like the queen she is. Thank her profusely for being in your life and loving you.
7. Practice Self Care
All these thoughts of why does my girlfriend keep talking about her ex has can do a number on your self esteem.
I am a big proponent of practicing self-care individually.
But even if it reduces, always ensure that both of you practice self-care individually.
It is very easy to lose yourself in a relationship by making it seem like it is the only thing that matters in the world.
So much so that you find yourself neglecting YOURSELF.
Whether or not both of you decide to take a break from the relationship, always ensure that both of you practice self-care individually.
It is important not to lose yourself in the relationship by making it end all, be all.
I know, self-care is often associated with women but hey, men need some space to do their own thing too.
Here are some simple ideas to get you started!
8. Take A Break
So what if your girlfriend talks about her ex?
If this issue keeps coming up and is going unresolved, perhaps taking a well-needed break will be helpful for both of you.
She can decide for herself if what she is doing is wrong during that period of absence.
9. Counselling
More and more young couples are seeking counseling/ therapy to provide a neutral space for them to share their challenges.
So consider this step. For all you know, this might bring you closer together.
Therapy is often looked at as something for couples to use only when they have problems.
But I assure you, it can serve as an opportunity for you to identify common goals you may want as a couple.
10. Give Her The Ultimatum
Tell her that if she continues to deliberately hurt you, this will spell the end of the relationship as it is not built on kindness and respect.
Walk away with your head held high as you do not want to invite this level of disrespect into your life.
FAQ On My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex
What If My Girlfriend Keeps Talking About Her Ex?
Communicate openly and honestly with her about how you feel is a good solution to this problem.
It is normal to feel uncomfortable with the idea of her ex which is why it is important to share those thoughts with her and hope she can respect your feelings.
Agree to develop healthy boundaries.
Is Talking About Ex Toxic?
Not necessarily true. Some people may drop their ex’s names throughout conversations and they might not mean anything.
However, it is a red flag when they constantly obsess over their previous relationship so much so that it affects you as the partner.
It can be in the form of constant name-dropping or comparing the both of you.
Is It A Red Flag If She Talks About Her Ex?
Yes, it’s a red flag that she may not be over him and could be comparing you to him constantly.
It is a clear sign that she is not over the previous relationship and may even be hinting to you that she will leave at the first sign of an opportunity.
Why Do I Feel Bad When My Girlfriend Talks About Her Ex?
When your girlfriend talks about her ex, it’s a normal human reaction to be feeling jealous.
It is more common for people to talk about their past relationships but it should not be done repeatedly and deliberately especially if they know it can hurt your feelings. This can do a number on your self-esteem.
Should I Let My Girlfriend See Her Ex?
You cannot let her or not let her meet her ex if she wants to because you cannot control her actions.
However, you can have an honest conversation with her to tell her how it truly makes you feel and how you would expect the same behavior from her as she is your partner.
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