My Husband Ignores Me Unless He Wants Something <100% SOLVED>

Do you feel like my husband ignores me unless he wants something?

Suddenly, you mean nothing to him and he just uses you and discards you right after. This surely isn’t the marriage that you signed up for.

Unfortunately, here we are. Let me assure you though the fact that you are searching for information on why this happens and what to do when your husband ignores you means you are on the right track to improve your marriage.

So let me hold your hand as we walk through this topic together.

Disclaimer:

Some of the links on here are affiliate links and I may earn if you click on them, AT NO EXTRA cost to you. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks.

My Husband Ignores Me Unless He Wants Something – 17 Reasons

1. Work Is Getting To Him

My husband right now is the sole breadwinner and it can be hard on our relationship. He has a phone that buzzes every time he gets a WhatsApp message. And guess what….he rarely turns that thing off.

Imagine trying to have a date night and engage with him but instead, his watch keeps vibrating and he looks at it each time. Annoying, right?

Unfortunately, there is nothing much I can do about this as work is a legitimate excuse. Right now, it is a season for him to work hard so that he can put food on the table while I spend quality time with the children. It is my way of ‘contributing’ albeit not financially.

I think what makes me feel better is knowing if he had a choice, he wouldn’t want to be working 24/7 either and would rather spend time with the children and me.

 2. He Is Not Connected With You Emotionally

Feeling as if my husband ignores me unless he wants something?

Well, is there a possibility that he might not feel connected to you emotionally? Are you putting up a wall because you feel frustrated in the relationship?

He might sense this and might not feel like talking to you in general. This could be one of many reasons why a husband ignores his wife.

3. He Is Going Through A Tough Time

Could be hiding things from you? Maybe he feels overwhelmed with his new role as a father or maybe he is having trouble with his parents. He could be bottling all these things in and might not be able to express his emotions well.

Remember, men are so emotionally wired like women. So he may need some help in this department.

4. Going Through Some Changes

Are there any new milestones in his life? Is he turning 40 soon?

People can feel anxious when new changes appear and they may not be able to articulate it so well. So ignoring you may feel like the easier thing to do.

5. His Personality

Has he always been like this? Perhaps you didn’t notice this when you first married because you may have been busy with other life changes. 

Just a thought, it could stem from his childhood when he is only asked to speak when he has something to say. If not, there might be reprimands. So understand that this might be a reason why my husband ignores me unless he wants something.

6. Suffers From Substance Abuse

Is he abusing alcohol or drugs on the side? Maybe he doesn’t want you to find out so keeps to himself unless necessary.

7. Just Trying To Survive The Marriage

Maybe he feels he is at the end of the rope in your marriage. He is just trying to do what he can to survive this marriage so he keeps things amicable for the sake of the children.

8. He Never Loved You

He could have gotten married because it was the ‘right’ thing to do rather than because he was in love with you. Because he doesn’t view you as his partner, he may not confide in you for anything in life.

This marriage is a mere obligation for him especially if he is religious. Sounds like a painful reason as to why my husband ignores me unless he wants something, right?

9. He Is Emotionally Cheating

He could be vested in someone else so why would he turn to you to be his emotional connection?

I find emotional affairs harder to digest than physical ones because shared emotions are something that should only be experienced with your spouse.

10. Unresolved Issues

Could there be some hidden conflict between the both of you? Perhaps he wasn’t so happy with how you both resolved things and he could be harboring some resentment.

11. He Is Sick

He might be suffering from an illness that he is not ready to share and this is putting him in a weird funk with you.

It is just easier to avoid talking to you because he knows you are more instinctual and will be able to find out easily.

12. He Is Suffering From Mental Health Issues

He could be bipolar or suffering from depression. Legit reason to now understand why my husband ignores me unless he wants something?

You can tell from how many mood swings he has, how often are his outbursts, and how often he retreats to his own company. If you suspect he has this, I would recommend that you encourage him to speak to a psychiatrist.

There is no shame in struggling with mental health, just like how we wouldn’t be ashamed of having diabetes or high blood pressure.

13. He Doesn’t Respect You

“When a man ignores you what is he thinking?”

Maybe he is egotistical and thinks you are there to serve him. Therefore, there isn’t a need to engage in conversation unless it is a form of instruction telling you what to do.

14. You Haven’t Told Him How You Feel

Look, you can never expect a man to understand how you feel if you do not tell him how ignored you feel. No one is a mind reader.

15. He Feels He Has Nothing To Contribute

Could he avoid conversation because he feels he cannot add value to you? Maybe he feels alone and somewhat useless. He doesn’t think you need him.

16. Exhausted With Life

He might feel like nothing gives him joy anymore. He is falling into a greater abyss of feeling restless and overwhelmed.

17. He Is Facing Financial Issues

Perhaps he is in a mountain of financial debt and is afraid of telling you about it. The stress and anxiety are keeping him away from being emotionally intimate with you.

What To Do When Your Husband Completely Ignores You Unless He Needs Something? -14 Helpful Strategies

 1. Communicate

Our imagination is more active than reality some days. So instead of being anxious about why he is ignoring you, speak to him. Do this when you are both in a good mood so that you can draw out the best in him.

If you raise your voice in the middle of the discussion, it will further exacerbate the problem because it might further make him think that you cannot accept his thoughts or ideas

2. Avoid Being Judgmental

I know it is hard when you feel my husband ignores me but, hear me out here!

How do you behave in his presence? Are you constantly gossiping or backbiting other people? He might feel like he cannot open up to you because he feels you may judge him.

So be that comforting space for him to share all his thoughts with.

Just to share, my husband is extremely stoic and doesn’t let anyone come close to his heart EXCEPT….me.

So I treasure and guard that gift with all my heart because he is so precious to me.

3. Spend Quality Time

This is one I always recommend. He needs to know you are there for him in the good times and bad so that would mean reminding him of this.

How did you treat him when you were his girlfriend? Surely, you spent quality time with him and made him feel safe and comforted? I am sure you can still do this once again to rekindle the intimacy.

4. Are You Overthinking Things

Try to take a step back and ask yourself if is he ignoring you. Maybe he just wants his alone time after work.  You could be overthinking things because you are anxious and stressed.

5. Spend Time Away From Him

Very often, we are in our husband’s faces. Try to spend a few hours or more time away from them so they miss us! Consider spending that time on yourself to practice self-love.

E.g. Take yourself on a date!

When was the last time you did that? You will come back into the relationship a whole lot refreshed and most of all, happy you had the time away from your spouse!

6. Play An Active Role In His Life

Do a couple of activities together. Better yet, get some friends involved too so that you can build a stronger bond outside conflict.

 There are over 125 activities that are fun to choose from!

7. Be Kind

Hard one, I agree. Here you are upset that he is ignoring you and I am asking you to be kind?

Well, we never do know what someone else is struggling with so it is important to be kind to him during this season in your marriage. This will allow him to trust you again and open up if you remain consistent with this practice.

8. Put Yourself In His Shoes

Imagine if you were having a deep dark secret that you were unable to tell someone? Do you want that person to keep pushing you to open up?

Surely you would appreciate the space and time to work on the issues yourself, am I right?

9. Sign Up For A Marriage Workshop

There are a tonne of marriage workshops that allow for solo participation from husbands/ wives. You never know if you can gain an insight or two into the current problem you are facing with him.

10. Focus On Yourself

Maybe all this ‘extra time’ is for you to focus on yourself. Women need to constantly nurture themselves in the following ways:

• Emotionally
• Physically
• Spiritually
• Mentally

There are over 40 self-care tips that can help you reenergize your thoughts and not worry about him as much.

11. Get Intimate

Intimacy between the sheets can certainly boost both your moods so why not give it a try?

I know that my husband is more receptive to my thoughts once we have had some intimacy together.

12. Seek Counselling

Perhaps a neutral third party can have a better perspective on why he is ignoring you.

13. Take A Break

Go on a holiday and leave the kids behind. Spend some much-needed time away from work, chores, and tantrums. Rekindling the flame might require you to be physically away from your home.

14. Consider Separation

Look if this prolongs, either one of you will cheat or the relationship will die a natural death. So if all else fails and you feel you have given it your all, think of separation as a tool to examine both your needs in this marriage.

Remember, it always takes two hands to clap.

Conclusion

There it is folks, a comprehensive article on what to do the next time you feel my husband ignores me unless he wants something.

This problem is more common than you think so don’t worry. The practical tips and strategies outlined above will surely work if you give patience to do its magic.

However, take note that even if things still do not work out, know that you have ultimately given your best shot and can only come out as a stronger person.

Do let me know in the comment section below if any solutions have worked for you.

Perhaps you may have other topics/ questions you’d like to see on the blog that could benefit the marriage community as a whole.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Frequently Asked Questions On My Husband Ignores Me Unless He Wants Something

Is It Normal For Your Husband To Ignore You?

No, it is not normal, you may want to speak to him to find out why he is ignoring you.

There can be multiple reasons and it could be that life is overwhelming or that he feels you are always giving attention to other people like your children or even your parents.

What Happens When A Woman Feels Neglected?

It might make you feel sad, unwanted, lonely and even depressed most times. It is sometimes worse to feel so much indifference rather than hate because it is a person’s passive response to even your presence.

This is a clear sign of neglect and if left unattended, can result in divorce.

What Causes A Husband To Ignore His Wife?

They may be having problems at work, be mad at their spouses or experiencing stress.

There is also a chance that they are losing interest in the marriage. If this were to continue, speak to him about it and ask him politely to include you in the relationship by engaging.

When Should You Stop Trying In A Relationship?

You’ve both stopped trying is a good time to signify the end of your relationship. Unfortunately, it takes two to tango and there might not be any emotional or physical connection left.

Both of you will have to examine the impact of the divorce on your children before taking the necessary action steps.

Why Do I Feel Lost In My Marriage?

Lack of communication is the number one reason why you may feel lost and alone in your marriage. There are multiple reasons why this is the case ranging from work stress, recent life changes or even poor physical and mental health.

The loss of connection is what leads people astray so it is important to stay in communion with each other.

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