Husband Always In A Bad Mood – 28 POWERFUL Tips To Save Your Marriage

Is your husband always in a bad mood? Are you feeling hopeless and at a loss for what to do?

Looking to understand WHY this happens ever so often?

I bet you are tired of being on the receiving end and want immediate and practical solutions to this never-ending problem.

Don’t worry, I’ll share why he is always in a foul mood and how to minimize future incidences. I have outlined the steps I used in my marriage as I navigated this exact problem.

These are all the things I wished someone had told me when I struggled with a husband who was always in a bad mood. So, let’s read on!

Disclaimer:

Some of the links on here are affiliate links and I may earn if you click on them, AT NO EXTRA cost to you. Hope you find the information here useful! Thanks.

How To Deal When You Have A Miserable Husband

1. Offer Space

Heard of a man cave? Due to space constraints, this isn’t always possible in most houses.

Unlike women who are more social, men tend to mull over it alone.

So encourage him to have his own time to do anything he wants. I understand it will feel hard on you as you juggle work, chores, and screaming toddlers.

Still, I will be the first to assure you that your husband will appreciate the time and return refreshed and energized.

2. Don’t React To Everything

Guilty as charged here! I know what it is like to take things personally when he uses the most painful words to hurt you.

Reacting to his outburst will only fuel him. I have started telling him I need a time out and walking away to another, so that I can also give him space.

3. Never Assume

The other day I started being livid with my husband out of the blue. I told him I wished he would help me out more around the house without me having to spell out every detail.

After I calmed down and gathered my thoughts, I chatted with my husband. 

Only to realize that I was feeling undervalued at home and would always have to make allowances for him and the kids but not myself.

If we didn’t have the heart-to-heart, he would have assumed it was just chores bugging me and not a deeper underlying issue of feeling invisible at home.

4. Don’t Make The Situation About You

When he is lashing out, let him have his moment. This isn’t the time for you to bring up the past, how you are angry with life, etc.

So, if the husband is always in a bad mood, give him a breather.

We often use each other vent as we have yet to find anyone else who will want to listen.

So, try to hold space for him to allow his most intimate thoughts.

Oxytocin (the love hormone) is often built when humans are vulnerable and intimate.

5. Don’t Minimize Their Feelings

You should be extremely grateful when your husband comes to you with the most vulnerable thoughts.

Don’t make light of any issue – however small. He needs you to be the safe space he can always rely on.

6. Communicate With Your Husband

Communication is more than just words. Have you hugged your husband recently? It can feel daunting to hug an angry person, so that is not what I am suggesting.

Hold his hand or offer a warm hug throughout the day.

Believe it or not, he needs you the most during this difficult stage in his life.

7. Know More About Your Husband’s Personality

I dated my husband for 10 years before marrying him and never knew that he scored 0 for empathy on a personality test.

I highly recommend taking this test as it helps you identify your strengths and blind spots as a couple.

Realizing how he had no empathy built in him allowed me to be more straightforward when talking to him.

Instead of me holding resentment in for him not helping around the house, I am now more verbal and explicit in what I need.

8. Create A Middle Ground

When both of you are at each other’s throats, it is easy to think your side is better and should win.

Remember that marriage is about the both of you winning together at life, so focus on finding a middle ground.

9. Become A Good Friend

How do you treat your friends? Now, think about how you treat your spouse.

Do you have the same enthusiasm when he comes back from work? Or are you just angry that he arrived late?

He could have been stuck in traffic or had an argument at work.

You will never know what day he has had, but when you show a sour face when he returns, he is unlikely to want to open up to you.

So focus on being your spouse’s best friend first!

10. Maintain Day To Day Talks

Husband always in a bad mood? Try to squeeze in 5 minutes of conversation daily – either in the morning or at night.

Avoid topics such as chores or kids. Instead, ask how their day went, how they felt, etc.

Fundamentally, everyone wants to be seen and validated by their partners.

11. Keep In Touch

Even though I have been with my partner for 15 years, I still send him texts throughout the day. Simple “I miss you, I can’t wait to have your home always makes his day.

This helps to relieve his stress at work, and he always knows that the kids and I cannot wait to enjoy his presence at home.

12. Make Family Traditions

Women usually are the ones who ‘make’ a home what it is. Have you considered what he might want to include instead?

He may want to have weekly dinners with the kids and you. Perhaps he wants more time with you. Consider scheduling a monthly romantic date without the kids in tow.

13. Forgive Each Other

What is marriage if not forgiving each other over and over again? Men don’t keep score like women do.

So ensure you extend the same grace to your husband when he is struggling with his anger.

14. Stop Blaming Yourself

If your husband is always in a bad mood, it is easy to think you cause anger and moodiness.

But I assure you, you cannot control his actions and moods, and neither are you responsible.

As an adult, he is expected to regulate himself emotionally, and if he can’t – consider seeking help together.

15. Ignore

How to deal with someone with mood swings?

When you know, he is in a bad mood, try to avoid engaging with him if possible. Allow him to have his moment.

16. Break The Routine

Life is getting too monotonous. I suggest adding a new fitness class together to break a sweat. Take up a painting class together to destress?

17. Don’t Nag

Do you listen more when your mom nags? You tune off. Well, the same thing applies to our men. They hate it when a woman repeatedly nags.

18. Don’t Press Him

Please don’t keep asking him why he is mad or moody. If you do, expect to have a husband always in a bad mood.

Let him have his space when he is in the thick of it. Don’t keep pressing him for details.

The furthest thing he wants to do when he is moody is talk to anyone.

19. Respond With Compassion

How do you respond when your husband is always in a bad mood? Are you being the better person by showing him what compassion looks like?

Remember that hurt people, hurt people.

20. Take Responsibility For Your Feelings

You are only ever responsible for your feelings and not his. Focus on yourself and what you can do on your end.

21. Consider The Source Of Their Anger

Ask yourself where his anger and moodiness come from. Personal problems, work, family? Is this how anxiety, frustration, and anger manifest in your relationship?

22. Take Care Of Yourself

I know you think my husband is always in a bad mood, but it is important to practice self-care as you go through a very challenging journey in your marriage right now.

Love yourself more.

Simple tips include:

• – Going for a daily walk
• – Practice gratitude
• – Eat healthier
• – Phone a good friend
• – Get a pedicure

23. Meditate

Meditation has been proven to have far-reaching and long-lasting benefits in your life. There are plenty of great resources to get you started to reach your goal.

24. Develop A Strategy Ahead Of Time

Did you know that the term “How to deal with a moody partner” is one of the top Google searches?

Many people are looking to develop a strategy ahead of their partner’s next moody outburst.

It could be as simple as taking a deep breath, counting 5, or you may need to leave the room.

Only you know what works best for you and your marriage.

Being prepared for the inevitable puts you in a better position to handle the stress that comes your way when he is unhappy with life.

25. Seek Therapy

You might be thinking my partner has depression and is pushing me away.

Well, when all else fails, consider that he may need psychological help in the form of a therapist that can help him navigate this turbulent time in his life.

If need be, the therapist may refer your partner for some psychiatric help if it is more medical.

26. Speak To His Close Friends And Family

His family and friends may have better insight into what is bothering him. That valuable information can help you assemble the pieces and help him and your family.

Just a word of caution, he may need to be more receptive to this idea, so exercise discretion if you use this strategy.

27. Pray

I was recently going through some frustrations with my husband, and I felt so lost. Instead of taking it out on him – I turned to God.

Well, in the form of an app. There are guided daily prayers for your husband.

I felt myself being transformed even though I was praying for him.

28. Is It Time To Move On?

I know what it is like to feel like your husband is not on the same page and is only getting moodier and angrier as the days go by.

He was always waking up in a bad mood almost daily.

If you need to do something else, remember it takes two to tango.

Consider moving on from this relationship as its toxicity cannot just take a toll on you but your children.

What Is The Irritable Husband Syndrome?

During the wedding of your dreams, you expected married life to be nothing short of amazing.

But suddenly, you find yourself walking on eggshells around your beloved partner. He becomes irritable, moody, and angry at the slightest conversation.

Surely this can’t be happening for the rest of your married life. Imagine the pure torture!

Perhaps he is suffering from Irritable Male Syndrome. This is known as a state of intense hypersensitivity, bouts of anger, frustration, and anxiety.

Causes have been known to be hormonal fluctuations, loss of male identity, or stress.

Often, men are less attuned to their emotional state than women. This often means they think the world is out to get them or irritate them, but the reverse is, in fact, true.

They are the ones who are finding fault in everything!

9 Major Signs Of A Miserable Husband

1. Find Fault In Everything You Do

Husbands who are always in a bad mood will find mistakes in anything you do. Everything from what you cook to how you do laundry.

It can be extremely exhausting to constantly be on guard, worrying about when you will make the next ‘mistake.’

2. He Neglects You

Perhaps at the start of your courtship, he used to pamper you with romantic gestures or even validate you by listening to you.

Over time, he treats you like a doormat and neglects your needs and desires as it becomes about HIMSELF.

3. Most Conversations Become Arguments

Part of being married means having 1001 conversations throughout the day ranging from what would you like for breakfast today or who will pick up the kids after school etc.

But what happens when most conversations become arguments? You tend to avoid even engaging and can often make decisions in a silo.

Unfortunately, you will feel even more miserable because it will feel like everything at home is on your shoulders to bear.

4. He Doesn’t Talk About The Future

His misery is focused on himself. Purely selfish nature. This means he has not set future goals for himself or the family. It can feel bleak to be in a dark cloud constantly.

5. He Prefers To Spend Time With Friends Instead Of You

Your spouse would rather talk to his friends than spend time with you. He can relax and talk about more frivolous things with his friends than with you.

But that is also why they are called his friends, not his wife.

Unfortunately, we often show our best selves to others and treat our spouses as dispensable.

6. He Is Overweight

Hear me out!

This is not to say that all overweight people are moody, but he could suffer from poor body image due to the extra pounds he might have gained over the years.

And again, when you are not feeling good about yourself – you tend to take it out on the people closest to you – i.e., your wife.

7. New Role In Life

Did you recently welcome a baby into your family? Or did he get a promotion or a new job?

These new changes in life are bound to set him off. Personally, my husband struggled with his newly minted role of becoming a dad, especially to a colicky baby.

Handling a baby that doesn’t sleep proved much easier than handling him. I delve into some of the strategies we used in our marriage below.

8. Low Self Esteem

Is the husband always in a bad mood?

Perhaps he feels behind his peers at work, in his personal life, etc. He might not be able to verbalize it as much as women can. After all, society expects a man to lead a family and not show vulnerability.

So how exactly can you expect him to tell you that he feels lost in life?

As a result, temper tantrums become the norm as he navigates these feelings.

9. Depression

Reaching out for help is not always easy when you feel stuck in an abyss of darkness.

Perhaps his frequent mood swings are not meant for you, as he suffers from a real medical condition.

Did you know that more than 75% of people in low and middle-income countries receive no treatment for depression?

Now, how to help someone with mood swings?

Conclusion

Now, I hope you will feel more confident the next time you find your husband always in a bad mood. I have personally used these tips and tools as I worked on rekindling my relationship.

Remember to practice self-care amid this challenging journey you are currently on, and most importantly, always remember that this, too, shall pass.

Let me know in the comments below if any of these solutions have worked for you.

Or you may have other topics/ questions you’d like to see on the blog that could benefit the marriage community.

I’d love to hear from you!

FAQs

What To Do If Your Husband Is Always In A Bad Mood?

The best ways to deal with a grumpy spouse includes:

1. Identify why

2. Avoid taking it personally

3. Consider using humor

4. Don’t belittle them

5. Use compassion

6. Don’t confront them when they are angry

7. Try not to let it get to you

8. Discover what works after trying different things

Why Is My Husband Moody All The Time?

Miserable husband syndrome is when your partner is always moody in your interactions. He may experience many changes internally (hormonally) and externally (work/ family stress).

If he is always irritable, it can surely create disharmony in your marriage because both parties will end up feeling alone as well as the impact on your children.

How To Deal With A Husband Who Gets Upset All The Time And Is Never Happy?

Some effective strategies for dealing with an angry partner are listed below:

• – Neutralize emotions and deescalate
• – Be respectful while maintaining assertiveness
• – Understand, validate emotions, and communicate constructively
• – Practice compassion and patience
• – Consider picking your battles and focus on the long term
• – Understand the triggers and reflect on your actions
• – Practice self-care

What Are Signs Of An Unhappy Marriage?

• – Lack of intimacy
• – You hardly talk
• – You rather spend time with your friends than with your spouse
• – Everything they do irritates you
• – There is emotional withdrawal
• – Differing values, beliefs, and goals
• – Resentment and criticism are the norm
• – You gaslight each other
• – You stop listening to each other
• – You avoid being at home at all cost

Can You Love Your Husband But Be Unhappy?

Yes, you will still feel unhappy and alone sometimes in your marriage despite loving your spouse deeply.

Do know that this is normal and is not a sign that your marriage is heading toward doom. Outside stressors like children, chores, and work can affect your marriage and dampen your spirit.

How Do You Know Your Husband Doesn’t Value You?

When he is no longer affectionate with you whether it be physically or verbally. The sweet romantic gestures towards you are also long gone.

He no longer tells you he loves you; even if he does, it doesn’t feel genuine as it once was. It may sound hollow or forced to you.

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