11 Signs Of A Weak Husband: Don’t Ignore These Red Flags

Do you suspect that your husband is weak?

But, before we even go further…what does a weak husband mean, you ask?

It takes two to tango in a marital union but sometimes it can feel like you are soldiering alone in this journey.

You feel like your partner fails to meet the basic requirements of a man in a relationship.

I bet you are feeling exhausted and burnt out.

Well, I am here to tell you that I know exactly how you feel because I went through this in my marriage.

And, SURPRISE…the journey ain’t over yet, sister!

So, come along for the ride as I share with you 11 obvious signs of a weak husband and what I did as a supportive wife to change things around in my marriage.

Let’s get started!

Disclaimer:

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11 Obvious Signs Of A Weak Husband

1. Weaponized Incompetence

Whoa – I bet you are wondering what are those big words. Well, I have to admit, I only discovered this phrase, weaponized incompetence recently.

In layman’s terms, your husband pretends he doesn’t know how to do things around the house. This indirectly leads to you having to pick up the slack.

The result? One unhappy and resentful wife who feels underappreciated and burnt out.

Let’s play this out over a scenario below so it can help you understand the situation.

Wife: Honey, can you make dinner? I am going to change the baby’s diaper and feed her.

Husband: Oh, but you are a much better cook anyway. But if I have to do it, can you tell me what I should cook?

This leads to the woman feeling strained by having to come up with an answer and she ends up just taking on the task of cooking alongside changing the baby.

Sounds familiar?

2. Lack Of Emotional Intelligence

Yes, women are blessed with softer skills like empathy, grace and compassion but if your husband is completely devoid of any, this can lead to him being a weak man.

A manly man is not afraid to cry or show you his raw emotions without having to sulk or throw tantrums.

My husband struggled with postpartum after I had my first baby. He used to tell me to leave my screaming baby and that he would eventually calm down by himself.

He also harboured a lot of rage and resentment when our colicky baby barely slept.

Yes, it’s a sign that he was “weak” as a husband but he is also human.

As much as I had empathy and compassion for my newborn, I struggled to have any for my husband. I only realized this recently.

3. Avoids Making Decisions

As a husband, he runs away from decision-making.

This could be due to childhood factors. But his repeatedly doing this makes him seem like he is incapable of being relied on.

And I am sure if you already have kids, you know that you will have to make 1001 decisions every single day.

Similar to weaponized incompetence, the mental load then goes to the wife/ mother.

Is it any wonder why a lot of women nowadays are bitter in their marriages?

4. Avoid Hard Conversations

Does your husband avoid hard conversations? Especially when it comes to his childhood trauma or finances.

5 Reasons Why He Avoids Hard Conversations

Afraid Of Confrontation

If your husband is anything like my husband, he hates confrontation to a core because of how he grew up.

Whenever he shared his thoughts/ opinions with his family, his family would shut him down.

He had to walk on eggshells his whole life and as a result, he hated sharing his honest thoughts.

Poor Confidence

It takes a whole lot of strength to both have and listen to hard conversations. Perhaps he is not there yet. (and may need a prod or two)

Unsure How The Outcome Will Turn Out

What if things go awry? What if he says something and it ends up hurting your feelings?

To him, the stress is not worth it…which is why he would rather just keep his mouth shut.

Inability To Associate With Strong Emotions

Whether we like it or not, when we want to vocalise our innermost desires and even hurt, emotions like anger, frustration, and resentment will crop up.

And surprise, surprise…he doesn’t like these emotions.

Preserving Harmony

He just wants to keep it status quo to avoid causing unnecessary stress for everyone.

Also, hard conversations may lead to different changes you may want for him and he might not be ready for that.

After all, who likes changes?

5) Listens To Other People

He listens to everyone but you. Example ranges from his mother to his sister to his colleagues at work.

This indicates he is not sure how to think for himself because other people have thought of him.

6) No Future Planned Out

Your husband lacks ambition. Please do not associate this with money and having to be rich.

That is not what you want. What you want is a husband who works hard every day to provide for you and the family.

Even if it means working hard at a low-income job.

The fact that he tries is what ambition is for a family man.

7) Doesn’t Defend You When Needed

Oh boy! A strong man should be able to defend you whenever anyone says anything about you.

Whether it be your ex-wife or daughter, he ought to speak up for his precious wife.

If he insists on keeping quiet, it is akin to him betraying you.

8) Chooses Himself Over You

A weak man only thinks of himself and doesn’t think of how his decisions may impact you, his wife and his children.

It is both hurtful and disappointing to be in a marriage with someone like that. I can only empathise but knowing this is a good start on how to move forward.

9) Ignores You

In marriage, there will be times when you feel he ignores you until he wants something.

Surely, this isn’t the marriage you signed up for.

So, this is another sign of a weak husband.

10) Does Not Know How To Handle Conflict Effectively

It’s fight or fly for him. The whole idea of trying to resolve conflict effectively is new to him.

There Are 7 Effective Conflict Resolutions For Couples:

1. Learn to express your thoughts and desires
2. Avoid blame with your partner
3. Stick to one issue at a time
4. Communication is key
5. Be open that you might be wrong
6. Don’t sweat small stuff
7. Assume the best of your partner

11) He Is Secretive

If your husband is hiding things, especially on his phone, this is a clear sign of a weak man.

A strong man loves and adores his wife and is also RESPECTFUL.

Which means, he doesn’t have any secrets.

Here’s What You Can Do When Dealing With A Weak Husband

1) Create A Safe Space At Home

These are some prompting questions for YOU!

How do you make him feel at home?
Are you excited when he walks through the door?
Do you tell your kids that their father works hard every day to provide a good life for them?

Or….

Do you just dump your kids with him the minute he comes home?
Do you sulk and whine about how hard your day is before listening to him?
When was the last time you did something nice for him? (doesn’t have to be something elaborate or expensive)

2) Unwind With Each Other

Plan a trip without any distractions like your phone/ kids. Focus on enjoying each other without asking him hard questions…YET!

3) Share Your Concerns In A Kind Manner

I am not sure why he is considered a weak man and why he is struggling. Perhaps having some empathy for him will lead you to a better outcome.

For all you know, if you provide grace to him, he might be able to open up about why he is not able to be the strong man you want him to be.

4) Pray For Him

Not sure where to start? Don’t worry…I have over 130 morning prayers that you can recite daily to pray for him.

Prayer not only changes him but it might change you in the process. How do I know?

Well, during our marital struggles, I relied on God for strength and faith to carry on so I can certainly tell you that prayer changes things.

5) Take Some Time Out For Yourself

I know it is hard to hear this but maybe same time off your husband and focus on practising self-care for yourself.

Having a weak husband is hard and I assure you, it can take a toll on you.

Not sure, where to begin? Well, I have over 59+ tips on how to get started to practise self-love.

Lasting Thoughts

There is no one sign of a weak husband, it could be a pattern of many on the list here. It is important to recognise these because it is affecting your marriage.

But if you feel like you are the only one carrying the burden of the marriage, I ask that you reach out to speak to a trained professional.

Let me know in the comments if you recognise any of these signs in your marriage. I would love to hear from you!